Mommy Job Description?

POSITION :


Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma








JOB DESCRIPTION :


Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,


often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent


communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable


hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour


shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to


primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments


in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier


duties also required.





RESPONSIBILITIES :


The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least


temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue


repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and


be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this


time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.


Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small


gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must


screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of


multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize


social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be


willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must


handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,


plastic toys , and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the


best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete


accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also


include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.





POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp;PROMOTION :


Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,


without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so


that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you








PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :


None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a


continually exhausting basis.








WAGES AND COMPENSATION :


Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon


payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college


will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give


them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme


is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.





BENEFITS :


While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition


reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this


job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs


for life if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything


they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated. Plus,


being a mother, I'm too tired to type everyone's name

Mommy Job Description?
wow!! This is the cutest, funniest thing I have ever read! I am stay at home mother of children, under the age of 7, and this was sooooo true!





I will be sure to forward this to many of my mother friends! thank you:)
Reply:lol....ain't that right!
Reply:There are MANY qualified candidates out there! :)
Reply:LOL! This gave me a laugh, thanks I need it :))
Reply:Couldnt have put it better myslef! If we actually got paid for being Moms the world bank would collapse. And yet I l still love this job.
Reply:Bravo. Well written.
Reply:Nice, Thanks!
Reply:This is amazing!!! I'm sending to my mother right away!!!!
Reply:If that doesn't hit the head on the nail....thanks for the laugh. I needed it
Reply:So very true...but ask yourself this if you'd have read this in the paper would you have applied?


Knowing what I know now about being a Mom I'd say "yes" because I truly love that little smile I get when he wants to be cute and don't know how I ever made it in the world before he came along. A frustrating job but the rewards are phenomenal.


To all the Moms out there give yourself a pat on the back!!
Reply:That is simply too adorable!!!





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Tooth Ache