How many of you would/have applied for this?

PARENT - Job Description





POSITION :


Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma


Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop





JOB DESCRIPTION :





Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,


often chaotic environment.


Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational


skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include


evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some


overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites


on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!


Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also


required.





RESPONSIBILITIES :





The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least


temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue


repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule


and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this


time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.


Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small


gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must


screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of


multiple homework projects.


Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of


all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one


minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product


safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery


operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for


the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of


the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and


janitorial work throughout the facility.





POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :





None.


Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without


complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that


those in your charge can ultimately surpass you





PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :





None required unfortunately.


On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.





WAGES AND COMPENSATION :





Get this! You pay them!


Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when


they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them


become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever


is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you


actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.





BENEFITS :





While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition


reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this


job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs


and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

How many of you would/have applied for this?
LMAO!





First got the job 8yrs ago and have since been lucky enough to add two additional responsibilities into the mix!





Hard work it's true, but there's absolutely nothing like that first smile in the morning, the hug that starts at the other side of the room and is at full tilt when it hits you, or the sound of your 2yr old saying 'wuv you mummy'.





Also teaches you to appreciate quiet, lol!
Reply:yeah most ppl give in the end - funny !
Reply:I would!!! lol bless us!
Reply:I'm in!
Reply:wouldn't have applied for it out fo choice but sometimes you have no choice!!!!!!





that's life!!!!!!!
Reply:not me
Reply:I would so want this job. I love kids! I hope I have at least ten or twenty, no joke!
Reply:that is my job...general dogs body for my family....but the hugs are nice....
Reply:sounds great!! I have two teenagers and im sure you must have missed some point off your list.. my life is one long exhaustive roller coaster ride!
Reply:i didn't apply, but got the job anyway
Reply:benifits not much
Reply:Can't say it's my dream.
Reply:only an idiot would have kids. i stand by that statement. too bad hormones lie.
Reply:I did. I applied and was hired without any references.
Reply:Well, when you put it like that...


I think I'll wait a good few years until I let myself in for all that.
Reply:I would have loved to, unfortunatley I have no children.
Reply:yep that would be me....


any more questions?
Reply:So true-i got the job!!xx
Reply:Thank GOD for those jobs! I love mine.
Reply:hhmmm....i dont know, if i didnt get holiday pay, considering i had to go through all of that!
Reply:Thats the funniest thing I've ever read...haven't applied yet, but you make it sound so much fun!!
Reply:I hear ya! I applied for it and got it! It's the most demanding, hardest, heartbreaking, rewarding job in the world. How ironic, huh?
Reply:Well if you don't get independence day off, count me OUT.
Reply:Loving Johnny Trash's answer
Reply:Good one! If more people knew all of this, they would use more protection! lol Have a great day!!
Reply:Yes i applied for this position, but gotta say it aint as bad as ur making out, so far anyway, hes only 2 so i have a long way to go. But what i will say is, i will never ever apply again, not even if i was guaranteed a million bucks %26amp; a nanny into the bargain lol.
Reply:I did so willingly. Now add a paragraph to describe what being a single parent is like.
Reply:i didn't apply for the job but got it anyway, pays crap, hours are long
Reply:are you a proffesional writer?
Reply:heh heh, it's not a job I want to apply for and I'm happy with my choice, but it's very amusing.





enjoy the job!
Reply:Shri Ravindranath Tagore, a Noble laureate,said that marriage is like one such house ,where people who are inside want to come out and those standing outside the house want to enter it.