1)An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
______________________________________...
2)Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
______________________________________...
3)"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."
______________________________________...
4)Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
______________________________________...
5)In a job interview for policemen the applicants are shown a profile picture of a man, and the interviewer says, "The job that you're applying for requires powers of observation. Make one observation about this man."
The first applicant enters and says, "This man has just one ear."
"Get out!!" screams the interviewer.
The second applicant enters and says, "This man has one ear."
"Get out!!" screams the interviewer again.
Then the third applicant gets up to go in for his interview. The first two guys are out there and they tell him, "The guy that's giving the interview doesn't like to hear that the man in the picture has one ear."
"Thanks for the tip" says the third applicant.
So the third applicant enters, stares at the picture for a while and finally he says, "This man wears contact lenses."
The interviewer is impressed and says, "Excellent observation. Tell me, how could you tell?"
So the guy says, "Well, this man has just one ear, how could he wear glasses?"
______________________________________...
6)When you hire people that are smarter than you are, you prove you are smarter than they are.
______________________________________...
7)The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
______________________________________...
8)A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor Personnel Office."
______________________________________...
9)An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
______________________________________...
10)The navy psychiatrist was interviewing a potential sailor. To check on the young man's response to trouble, the psychiatrist asked, "What would you do if you looked out of that window right now and saw a battleship coming down the street?"
The baby sailor said, "I'd grab a torpedo and sink it."
Here are some jokes. They are very funny. If you like them star them. I will send some more.?
They are indeed great. Please send more,I will be waiting. Too- too- too- hillarious.
Reply:What a coincidence!Ive heard all of them before..Even then,Heres a star for ya
Reply:some are funny, some--i dont know
maybe i dont have a good sense of humor
keep it up : )
Reply:No bad... I liked Gomer.
Reply:was tried of reading them by #5 to many at 1 tine If I want to read that many jokes at once I would have gone to a joke web page
Reply:Great jokes! No8 was particularly funny
Reply:Ok,they were good, send more!
Reply:These are really good.I haven't actually ever heard them before.
Reply:hahahaha
i had my dose of medicine!
leather sandals
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Is it too early to ask for a raise? Question for Dr's and assistants.?
I am a dental assistant in NJ. I am school trained and have 6 yrs. office experience. I also have an x-ray license. The girls I work w/ are trained in the office and have no previous experience.
I just moved and had to take a major pay cut due to the area I live and work in. I was making $17 /hr. and now make $14/hr. I preform the same tasks as I did in my old office. Such as assisting, but also order supplies for 2 offices.
I have been at this office for only one month, but I really think I deserve a $2 increase. I do alot more than anyone else in the office.
Is it too early to ask for a raise? How should I go about asking w/out jeopardizing my job?
Is it too early to ask for a raise? Question for Dr's and assistants.?
Hi Nicole,
First, do a a zip code search at http://www.careerbuilders.com or http://www.monster.com or http://www.payscale.com to see how it should be. DO NOT FORGET to adjust for a 40 hour week if the figures are based on a weekly pay. I'm in SNJ myself and I can tell you that there is a great deal of difference in NNJ and SNJ cost of living and, therefore, fees and salaries.
When I hire, I hire on a probabtionary basis - as do most - and when I decide to keep you, I would give you a raise. If you came in with an x-ray license and CDA and/or experience, I would probably start you a lot higher than a "trainee," so the first raise might only be a dollar an hour. My most recent hire has CDA, x-ray and 15 years experience, so I started her at $15 and went from there.
The probabtionary period in my office is 90 days, as I think it is in most. I see one answerer above me said it is 120 days in her office, though. I think 2 months is too early to ask for a raise, but it is time to start planning so you can get your nerve up. It sounds like you have assumed a lot of responsibility in this office and probably do deserve close to your previous wage. If you have nerve, I'd suggest that you ask for a specific amount and let your doctor react. If you said that you have been trying to make it on $14 an hour, but you were used to getting $17 and are now finding things difficult. You have done the math and feel that you need $16 to continue in your job. You will NOT get fired, but you have to be prepared for a "no" answer, so you might want to tone your request down a bit. YOU know your boss better than I do.
Anyhow, if you do not have a raise after 90 days, I'd consider asking for one. Chances are your boss is looking towards January 1 as time for a raise anyhow.
Good luck.
Sam Feinstein
Reply:I think if you honestly believe you deserve a raise then ask for one. It should not be that hard to find another job if he doesn't comply. But...On the other hand he might just comply long enough to find/hire someone else at a cheaper rate. Then again he might just give it to you. If you are doing all of these things then you should be paid accordingly. This is why I went to Dental Hygiene school I got sooooo tired of dealing with cheap dentist!! They want you to do all the work while they "relax!!!" Good Luck
Reply:it is pretty standard to have 120 days try out period in the dental offices. If you do not get a raise in two months, ask for one, unless it was discussed at the time of hire
Reply:I think your Dr will say it's too early, they usually consider at 90 days. That way they have seen your work, ability, responsibility, and what you can do better that the other co-workers. You do deserve a raise but he might think this way.
Reply:I also agree to wait 90 days. BUT here's one thing that's real important. Do NOT tell anyone in your office what you make. This could cause hurt feelings. Also have a list of what you can do that the others cannot do who are not trained. I was a dental assistant and I can not believe a Dr can hire someone off the street! They have no idea about sterilization! ICK!!! So your Dr just may be a cheap skate and not care.
Good luck.
Reply:I think it's too early. You have to think from your employer's point of view. You know you're a dedicated, honest, reliable employee, but is one month enough time for them to know that?
In my office, raises were given out every 6 months. Does your office have any schedules for raises/evaluations like that? Maybe you should ask another employee.
I would not, however, mention to your boss that you "Do a lot more than anyone else in the office." I'm sure he wants a no drama team player. And I'm sure he'll realize this on his own in due time. Just keep up the good work, and it will be rewarded!
The change in pay may be because assistants simply do not earn as much money in your new area. Pay scales change greatly in very short distances.
Whatever you do, I hope it works out well for you and someday soon you get paid at least close to what you deserve! Good luck!
I just moved and had to take a major pay cut due to the area I live and work in. I was making $17 /hr. and now make $14/hr. I preform the same tasks as I did in my old office. Such as assisting, but also order supplies for 2 offices.
I have been at this office for only one month, but I really think I deserve a $2 increase. I do alot more than anyone else in the office.
Is it too early to ask for a raise? How should I go about asking w/out jeopardizing my job?
Is it too early to ask for a raise? Question for Dr's and assistants.?
Hi Nicole,
First, do a a zip code search at http://www.careerbuilders.com or http://www.monster.com or http://www.payscale.com to see how it should be. DO NOT FORGET to adjust for a 40 hour week if the figures are based on a weekly pay. I'm in SNJ myself and I can tell you that there is a great deal of difference in NNJ and SNJ cost of living and, therefore, fees and salaries.
When I hire, I hire on a probabtionary basis - as do most - and when I decide to keep you, I would give you a raise. If you came in with an x-ray license and CDA and/or experience, I would probably start you a lot higher than a "trainee," so the first raise might only be a dollar an hour. My most recent hire has CDA, x-ray and 15 years experience, so I started her at $15 and went from there.
The probabtionary period in my office is 90 days, as I think it is in most. I see one answerer above me said it is 120 days in her office, though. I think 2 months is too early to ask for a raise, but it is time to start planning so you can get your nerve up. It sounds like you have assumed a lot of responsibility in this office and probably do deserve close to your previous wage. If you have nerve, I'd suggest that you ask for a specific amount and let your doctor react. If you said that you have been trying to make it on $14 an hour, but you were used to getting $17 and are now finding things difficult. You have done the math and feel that you need $16 to continue in your job. You will NOT get fired, but you have to be prepared for a "no" answer, so you might want to tone your request down a bit. YOU know your boss better than I do.
Anyhow, if you do not have a raise after 90 days, I'd consider asking for one. Chances are your boss is looking towards January 1 as time for a raise anyhow.
Good luck.
Sam Feinstein
Reply:I think if you honestly believe you deserve a raise then ask for one. It should not be that hard to find another job if he doesn't comply. But...On the other hand he might just comply long enough to find/hire someone else at a cheaper rate. Then again he might just give it to you. If you are doing all of these things then you should be paid accordingly. This is why I went to Dental Hygiene school I got sooooo tired of dealing with cheap dentist!! They want you to do all the work while they "relax!!!" Good Luck
Reply:it is pretty standard to have 120 days try out period in the dental offices. If you do not get a raise in two months, ask for one, unless it was discussed at the time of hire
Reply:I think your Dr will say it's too early, they usually consider at 90 days. That way they have seen your work, ability, responsibility, and what you can do better that the other co-workers. You do deserve a raise but he might think this way.
Reply:I also agree to wait 90 days. BUT here's one thing that's real important. Do NOT tell anyone in your office what you make. This could cause hurt feelings. Also have a list of what you can do that the others cannot do who are not trained. I was a dental assistant and I can not believe a Dr can hire someone off the street! They have no idea about sterilization! ICK!!! So your Dr just may be a cheap skate and not care.
Good luck.
Reply:I think it's too early. You have to think from your employer's point of view. You know you're a dedicated, honest, reliable employee, but is one month enough time for them to know that?
In my office, raises were given out every 6 months. Does your office have any schedules for raises/evaluations like that? Maybe you should ask another employee.
I would not, however, mention to your boss that you "Do a lot more than anyone else in the office." I'm sure he wants a no drama team player. And I'm sure he'll realize this on his own in due time. Just keep up the good work, and it will be rewarded!
The change in pay may be because assistants simply do not earn as much money in your new area. Pay scales change greatly in very short distances.
Whatever you do, I hope it works out well for you and someday soon you get paid at least close to what you deserve! Good luck!
Would you of had kids if this is how it was presented to you?
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Would you of had kids if this is how it was presented to you?
Hell no !!!! Can relate to every word. You made it sound funny gave me a good laugh which I needed. Thanks ! You must be younger mother forgot to mention when they return home with their kids for free room and board. Those hugs and kisses from the grand kids will melt your heart...........good luck............there is more to come%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;hahahahah
Reply:yes I have no other go.
Reply:Sounds good to me...I can't have kids.
Reply:That is what I do best and when I am only doing that it seems that I am more peaceful and happier, why are you asking? Hope that you find the opportunity you desire, whatever that is? Thanks for asking, this is important to me.
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Would you of had kids if this is how it was presented to you?
Hell no !!!! Can relate to every word. You made it sound funny gave me a good laugh which I needed. Thanks ! You must be younger mother forgot to mention when they return home with their kids for free room and board. Those hugs and kisses from the grand kids will melt your heart...........good luck............there is more to come%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;hahahahah
Reply:yes I have no other go.
Reply:Sounds good to me...I can't have kids.
Reply:That is what I do best and when I am only doing that it seems that I am more peaceful and happier, why are you asking? Hope that you find the opportunity you desire, whatever that is? Thanks for asking, this is important to me.
Do you plan on having kids?
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassing the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this.....you pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy
it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities
for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous
job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
Do you plan on having kids?
If you are considering having children than learn from this..
1. Child Prep#1- Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: Buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the tentacles hang out. Time allowed for this: all morning.
2.Child Prep #2- Get completely ready to go out. Then, wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to minutely inspect every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand, until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to take a small child for a walk.
3.Child Prep #3- Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: To prepare for paternity, go to the local Pharmasist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacists to help themselves. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
4.Child Prep #4- Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
5.Child Prep #5- Find a couple who are already parents. Observe them for one evening. Then comment on their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it, this will be the last time in your life that you have any clue about child rearing.
6.Child Prep #6- Forget the BMW and buy a SUV. Don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a grease gun. Shoot some in the cassette player. Take three peeled bananas. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.
7.Child Prep #7- Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear marmalade onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Ask yourself, how does that look?
8.Child Prep #8- Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy corn flakes and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the corn flakes are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old baby.
9.Child Prep #9- To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a bag of water weighing approximately 12 lb. At 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, till 1am. Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2.45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
10.Child Prep 10- Sample the Destructive Powers of Childhood. Borrow a dozen baseballs from your little league coach friend. Put on any type of helmet. In the room with the most windows, turn the ceiling fan on high. If you don't have a lot of windows a glass front hutch holding fine china will work nicely. While protecting yourself as best you can (you will get better at this after your children become teenagers) throw each baseball at the spinning fan.
Do you need more???
Reply:Eventually, I would like to, but the rate things in my life, the way they are going, probably not.
I'm 29, single, and want to 1, get out of college before I think of marriage, and 2, I would have to be married first.
With me having to wait until August to go back to college, and I lack about 2 years, I woudl have to say, most likely I will not have any kids of my own, but adoption is on my mind.
Though being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, has the largest responsibility, it also has the greatest reward if you succeed.
Reply:I would have to be married first.
thanks for sharing
Reply:Yes!
And if people were a bit more optimistic they would see the positive aspects too.
Besides, most people want to give all they have to their childern, it is not a burden.
I think it is so sad that people to do not have children and have no continuation.
And it is important to realize that everything in life that is meaningful and rewarding requires much effort..
~~Good for you, I am impressed Jdriven!
~~EU Citizen, you must be part of a very 'compassionate' people...
Reply:this is great! i have a 7 and half month old and i just went back to night school. my husband called me while i was in school ad said that he had no idea how i do it all the time. but i love it, and wouldnt change it for the world!
Reply:Well, tough one.
All the answers that you've got, naturally, were from people who hasn't yet have children (due to the nature of your question).
But still... I have children. 3 of them, I might add. And as much as I love them unconditionally, I sometimes wonder if I'd do it all over. I'm not sure regarding the answer.
Its all good and well to say that children are miracles and they give you joy... but the truth is that they also drain you totally.
So, the answer is - some days and some days...
Reply:yes i have a plan in having kids even i don't have kids i am still happy because something should happen when i already have kids i will play with them and i will also take care of them and show lovefor them
Reply:lol you are scaring me a little bit
Reply:lol....
Yet it is a wonderful thing!!!!
Reply:Yeah, if I'll ever get married. I'm actually kind of scared of kids because I was never a mom. lol.
EDIT TO EG: Congratulations!!!
Reply:What? who are you?
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassing the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this.....you pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy
it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities
for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous
job they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!
Do you plan on having kids?
If you are considering having children than learn from this..
1. Child Prep#1- Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: Buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the tentacles hang out. Time allowed for this: all morning.
2.Child Prep #2- Get completely ready to go out. Then, wait outside the bathroom for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to minutely inspect every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand, until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to take a small child for a walk.
3.Child Prep #3- Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of the beans. Men: To prepare for paternity, go to the local Pharmasist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacists to help themselves. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
4.Child Prep #4- Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
5.Child Prep #5- Find a couple who are already parents. Observe them for one evening. Then comment on their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it, this will be the last time in your life that you have any clue about child rearing.
6.Child Prep #6- Forget the BMW and buy a SUV. Don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a grease gun. Shoot some in the cassette player. Take three peeled bananas. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.
7.Child Prep #7- Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, first smear marmalade onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Ask yourself, how does that look?
8.Child Prep #8- Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy corn flakes and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half the corn flakes are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old baby.
9.Child Prep #9- To discover how the nights will feel, walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a bag of water weighing approximately 12 lb. At 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, till 1am. Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can't get back to sleep get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2.45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
10.Child Prep 10- Sample the Destructive Powers of Childhood. Borrow a dozen baseballs from your little league coach friend. Put on any type of helmet. In the room with the most windows, turn the ceiling fan on high. If you don't have a lot of windows a glass front hutch holding fine china will work nicely. While protecting yourself as best you can (you will get better at this after your children become teenagers) throw each baseball at the spinning fan.
Do you need more???
Reply:Eventually, I would like to, but the rate things in my life, the way they are going, probably not.
I'm 29, single, and want to 1, get out of college before I think of marriage, and 2, I would have to be married first.
With me having to wait until August to go back to college, and I lack about 2 years, I woudl have to say, most likely I will not have any kids of my own, but adoption is on my mind.
Though being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, has the largest responsibility, it also has the greatest reward if you succeed.
Reply:I would have to be married first.
thanks for sharing
Reply:Yes!
And if people were a bit more optimistic they would see the positive aspects too.
Besides, most people want to give all they have to their childern, it is not a burden.
I think it is so sad that people to do not have children and have no continuation.
And it is important to realize that everything in life that is meaningful and rewarding requires much effort..
~~Good for you, I am impressed Jdriven!
~~EU Citizen, you must be part of a very 'compassionate' people...
Reply:this is great! i have a 7 and half month old and i just went back to night school. my husband called me while i was in school ad said that he had no idea how i do it all the time. but i love it, and wouldnt change it for the world!
Reply:Well, tough one.
All the answers that you've got, naturally, were from people who hasn't yet have children (due to the nature of your question).
But still... I have children. 3 of them, I might add. And as much as I love them unconditionally, I sometimes wonder if I'd do it all over. I'm not sure regarding the answer.
Its all good and well to say that children are miracles and they give you joy... but the truth is that they also drain you totally.
So, the answer is - some days and some days...
Reply:yes i have a plan in having kids even i don't have kids i am still happy because something should happen when i already have kids i will play with them and i will also take care of them and show lovefor them
Reply:lol you are scaring me a little bit
Reply:lol....
Yet it is a wonderful thing!!!!
Reply:Yeah, if I'll ever get married. I'm actually kind of scared of kids because I was never a mom. lol.
EDIT TO EG: Congratulations!!!
Reply:What? who are you?
Dead beat dads?
Ok, You all have missed the point. However I don't think the children should have to suffer either. But there are other ways to support the children than give her the money. Such as: making it a law for the innocent parent to provide full coverage insurance for the children as far as dental and medical. And if the parent has any sense they should be buying their children school school clothes, supplies and the extras that child needs. As for all your ugly comments I didn't steal anyones husband. I am a child of a dead beat father who I didn't see or know. But rather than my mother get money to help support her other husband and family, cause theres no guarantee I would of got a penny of it, as so many other children will agree paying the phone bill didn't buy me a pair of shoes.......oh but that was to help pay for your support.... Ok .. I just think things need to be done differently. How many children out there actually even see or even know about the child support? I didn't.
Dead beat dads?
Parents shouldn't discuss their specific finances with their children. Nor should one parent ever put down the other to the child. No matter what either parent did that may have ended the relationship, children should not be told the circumstances--they're CHILDREN! And parents shouldn't play games like "well, I might have had enough money to get you _______ if your no good mom/dad would have paid child support this month."
And yes, there are parents who misappropriate child support money. But the money should not be given directly to the child. That money also goes to pay the mortgage for the house the child lives in, the car the child is driven around in, the sports the child plays, the clothes the child wears. To give it to the child would also be a misappropriation.
Do you think married parents that both work would tell their kids "mommy's pay check bought your clothes, but daddy's paycheck bought your food?" No, and it should be the same with any money gathered through child support.
My parents had 50/50 custody of the kids after their divorce. We lived one month with dad, then one month with mom. My dad still had to pay child support to my mom to help even out their incomes. When we were with my dad, if we asked for anything like new shoes or new clothes we had to hear: "that's what I pay child support for, have your mom get you that stuff." My mom never said an unkind word about my dad. And guess what? 20 years later all 3 of us kids think my mom did a far better job at parenting than my dad, even though he wasn't a "dead beat" per se because he always paid his support on time.
Children should neither "know about" nor "see" the support, that's for the adults to worry about.
Reply:i tell my son that his dad does not pay his child support, that is why i can't give him everything he needs. granted i do give him all that i can. sooner or later he'll figure it out on his own what a deadbeat his father is.
Reply:do you mean your father paid regularly for your up keep - or he didn't that means you mother was a terrible mother for not letting you know or miss spending you money. or have i got it wrong.
Reply:I don't get what you are asking?
Reply:It simply highlights that no system is perfect. What you're asking for is a directed system, where they are required to supply identified objects and benefits. An interesting idea, but one that is even harder to police than the current system. I think you'd end up with even less money going to the children because they don't want to go shopping for shoes, and don't want to go through the trouble of setting up insurance coverage. As it is a judge can order the money directly withdrawn from the paycheque of the father(at least in the court system where I'm from). I don't think that the system you're asking for would be practical without a large supervising body that would drain even more money away. It's tough, but I don't think there is a clear solution.
Reply:nope your right, paying the phone bill didnt buy you a pair of shoes, but i bet you used the phone :) and i bet you had shoes, doesnt matter where the money comes form you were supported, Your father ran off, and you were HIS responsibility he decided not to step up to the plate, your mother on the other hand stepped up and raised you. Who cares if she pockets the money, at least she provided you with food, heat, a bed, clothes, shoes, and even some of the things you wanted and didnt need. Its just the way it is. Kids cost alot more than you obviously know!!! I get 600$ a month for one child, and you know what, that still doesnt cover the expenses of what it costs to raise a 7 year old child. If he wants to be in activities through school, i pay for those, if he has a medical problem, i pay for those, his food costs between 200-300 a month right there, that doesnt include the expenses of taking him to school everyday, picking him up from school, money for this and that at school, Clothes that he outgrows each month, shoes, snow gear. Your not thinking clear enough to see the bigger picture
Reply:Child support is not designed to be money handed to the child to go spend as they want to. It is designed and intended so that you have a roof over your head and food on your table. Whether or not you got a new expensive pair of shoes doesn't matter, and as for you previous question, it really doesn't matter who cheated or why the marriage broke up. It matters who has custody of the children.
I will bet that the whole time you were growing up you had a roof, and clothes, and food to eat, and I willing to be that you probably got a lot stuff that you didn't need but that you wanted. Its not the system's fault that your father couldn't accept his responsibility as a parent and walked away.
When my parents divorced (due to my dad cheating) he was ordered to pay child support and keep medical insurance on both me and my brother. Guess what it never happened. My mom paid for every bit of it, housing and food, clothes, school activities, medical bills.
Reply:I'm not sure what you are asking but......I'm married to a man with 4 kids and we have custody of them all. Their mom is court ordered to pay child support but she pays only when threatened of going to court. Were lawyers free and this a perfect world, she would be in jail now for not paying, trying to sabotage the relationship I have with her kids, and basically not being a mother to them. Being a step-parent is hard, very hard...we also have a child together and I have one from a previous marriage. Anyway, I guess my point is......not all dead-beat parents are dads. Sometimes the best parent IS the dad.
Reply:When you don’t have money to get the care you need:
http://ask.hrsa.gov/pc/
http://www.omhrc.gov/templates/browse.as...
http://www.hrsa.gov/help/default.htm
http://www.thefrugallife.com/medicalalte...
http://www.google.com/search?q=Free+Low+...
http://www.hrsa.gov/hillburton/default.h...
Hill Burton Hotline
1-800-638-0742
(1-800-492-0359 in Maryland)
In 1946, Congress passed a law that gave hospitals, nursing homes and other health facilities grants and loans for construction and modernization. In return, they agreed to provide a reasonable volume of services to persons unable to pay and to make their services available to all persons residing in the facility’s area. The program stopped providing funds in 1997, but about 300 health care facilities nationwide are still obligated to provide free or reduced-cost care.
Steps to Apply for Hill-Burton Free or reduced-cost Care
1.Find the Hill-Burton obligated facility nearest you from the list of Hill-Burton obligated facilities.
2.Go to the facility's admissions or business office and ask for a copy of the Hill-Burton Individual Notice. The Individual Notice will tell you what income level makes you eligible for free or reduced-cost care, what services might be covered, and exactly where in the facility to apply.
3.Go to the office listed in the Individual Notice and say you want to apply for Hill-Burton free or reduced-cost care. You may need to fill out a form.
4.Gather any other required documents (such as a pay stub to prove income eligibility) and take or send them to the obligated facility.
5.If you are asked to apply for Medicaid, Medicare, or some other financial assistance program, you must do so.
6.When you return the completed application, ask for a Determination of Eligibility. Check the Individual Notice to see how much time the facility has before it must tell you whether or not you will receive free or reduced-cost care.
More about Hill-Burton Free or Reduced-Cost Care
You are eligible to apply for Hill-Burton free care if your income is at or below the current HHS Poverty Guidelines. You may be eligible for Hill-Burton reduced-cost care if your income is as much as two times (triple for nursing home care) the HHS Poverty Guidelines.
Care at a Hill-Burton obligated facility is not automatically free or reduced-cost. You must apply at the admissions or business office at the obligated facility and be found eligible to receive free or reduced-cost care. You may apply before or after you receive care -- you may even apply after a bill has been sent to a collection agency.
Some Hill-Burton facilities may use different eligibility standards and procedures.
Hill-Burton facilities must post a sign in their admissions and business offices and emergency room that says: NOTICE - Medical Care for Those Who Cannot Afford to Pay, and they must provide you with a written Individual Notice that lists the types of services eligible for Hill-Burton free or reduced-cost care, what income level qualifies for free or reduced-cost care and how long the facility may take in determining an applicant's eligibility.
Only facility costs are covered, not your private doctors' bills. Facilities may require you to provide documentation that verifies your eligibility, such as proof of income.
Hill-Burton facilities must provide a specific amount of free or reduced cost care each year, but can stop once they have given that amount. Obligated facilities publish an Allocation Plan in the local newspaper each year. The Allocation Plan includes the income criteria and the types of services it intends to provide at no cost or below cost. It also specifies the amount of free or reduced cost services it will provide for the year.
When you apply for Hill-Burton care, the obligated facility must provide you with a written statement that tells you what free or reduced-cost care services you will get or why you have been denied.
The facility may deny your request if
·Your income is more than the income specified in the Allocation Plan.
·The facility has given out its required amount of free care as specified in its Allocation Plan.
·The services you requested or received are not covered in the facility's Allocation Plan.
·The services you requested or received are to be paid by a governmental program such as Medicare/Medicaid or insurance.
·The facility asked you to apply for Medicare/Medicaid or other governmental program, and you did not.
·You did not give the facility proof of your income, such as a pay stub.
You may file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services if you believe you have been unfairly denied Hill-Burton free or reduced-cost care. Your complaint must be in writing and can be a letter that simply states the facts and dates concerning the complaint. You may call your local legal aid services for help in filing a complaint.
Where can I go to get free or reduced-cost prenatal care?
You can call this number if you need free birth control help, too!
Women in every state can get help to pay for medical care during their pregnancies. This prenatal care can help you have a healthy baby. Every state in the United States has a program to help. Programs give medical care, information, advice and other services important for a healthy pregnancy.
To find out about the program in your state:
·Call 1-800-311-BABY (1-800-311-2229) This toll-free telephone number will connect you to the Health Department in your area code
·For information in Spanish, call 1-800-504-7081
·Call or contact your local Health Department.
Basketball Shoes
Dead beat dads?
Parents shouldn't discuss their specific finances with their children. Nor should one parent ever put down the other to the child. No matter what either parent did that may have ended the relationship, children should not be told the circumstances--they're CHILDREN! And parents shouldn't play games like "well, I might have had enough money to get you _______ if your no good mom/dad would have paid child support this month."
And yes, there are parents who misappropriate child support money. But the money should not be given directly to the child. That money also goes to pay the mortgage for the house the child lives in, the car the child is driven around in, the sports the child plays, the clothes the child wears. To give it to the child would also be a misappropriation.
Do you think married parents that both work would tell their kids "mommy's pay check bought your clothes, but daddy's paycheck bought your food?" No, and it should be the same with any money gathered through child support.
My parents had 50/50 custody of the kids after their divorce. We lived one month with dad, then one month with mom. My dad still had to pay child support to my mom to help even out their incomes. When we were with my dad, if we asked for anything like new shoes or new clothes we had to hear: "that's what I pay child support for, have your mom get you that stuff." My mom never said an unkind word about my dad. And guess what? 20 years later all 3 of us kids think my mom did a far better job at parenting than my dad, even though he wasn't a "dead beat" per se because he always paid his support on time.
Children should neither "know about" nor "see" the support, that's for the adults to worry about.
Reply:i tell my son that his dad does not pay his child support, that is why i can't give him everything he needs. granted i do give him all that i can. sooner or later he'll figure it out on his own what a deadbeat his father is.
Reply:do you mean your father paid regularly for your up keep - or he didn't that means you mother was a terrible mother for not letting you know or miss spending you money. or have i got it wrong.
Reply:I don't get what you are asking?
Reply:It simply highlights that no system is perfect. What you're asking for is a directed system, where they are required to supply identified objects and benefits. An interesting idea, but one that is even harder to police than the current system. I think you'd end up with even less money going to the children because they don't want to go shopping for shoes, and don't want to go through the trouble of setting up insurance coverage. As it is a judge can order the money directly withdrawn from the paycheque of the father(at least in the court system where I'm from). I don't think that the system you're asking for would be practical without a large supervising body that would drain even more money away. It's tough, but I don't think there is a clear solution.
Reply:nope your right, paying the phone bill didnt buy you a pair of shoes, but i bet you used the phone :) and i bet you had shoes, doesnt matter where the money comes form you were supported, Your father ran off, and you were HIS responsibility he decided not to step up to the plate, your mother on the other hand stepped up and raised you. Who cares if she pockets the money, at least she provided you with food, heat, a bed, clothes, shoes, and even some of the things you wanted and didnt need. Its just the way it is. Kids cost alot more than you obviously know!!! I get 600$ a month for one child, and you know what, that still doesnt cover the expenses of what it costs to raise a 7 year old child. If he wants to be in activities through school, i pay for those, if he has a medical problem, i pay for those, his food costs between 200-300 a month right there, that doesnt include the expenses of taking him to school everyday, picking him up from school, money for this and that at school, Clothes that he outgrows each month, shoes, snow gear. Your not thinking clear enough to see the bigger picture
Reply:Child support is not designed to be money handed to the child to go spend as they want to. It is designed and intended so that you have a roof over your head and food on your table. Whether or not you got a new expensive pair of shoes doesn't matter, and as for you previous question, it really doesn't matter who cheated or why the marriage broke up. It matters who has custody of the children.
I will bet that the whole time you were growing up you had a roof, and clothes, and food to eat, and I willing to be that you probably got a lot stuff that you didn't need but that you wanted. Its not the system's fault that your father couldn't accept his responsibility as a parent and walked away.
When my parents divorced (due to my dad cheating) he was ordered to pay child support and keep medical insurance on both me and my brother. Guess what it never happened. My mom paid for every bit of it, housing and food, clothes, school activities, medical bills.
Reply:I'm not sure what you are asking but......I'm married to a man with 4 kids and we have custody of them all. Their mom is court ordered to pay child support but she pays only when threatened of going to court. Were lawyers free and this a perfect world, she would be in jail now for not paying, trying to sabotage the relationship I have with her kids, and basically not being a mother to them. Being a step-parent is hard, very hard...we also have a child together and I have one from a previous marriage. Anyway, I guess my point is......not all dead-beat parents are dads. Sometimes the best parent IS the dad.
Reply:When you don’t have money to get the care you need:
http://ask.hrsa.gov/pc/
http://www.omhrc.gov/templates/browse.as...
http://www.hrsa.gov/help/default.htm
http://www.thefrugallife.com/medicalalte...
http://www.google.com/search?q=Free+Low+...
http://www.hrsa.gov/hillburton/default.h...
Hill Burton Hotline
1-800-638-0742
(1-800-492-0359 in Maryland)
In 1946, Congress passed a law that gave hospitals, nursing homes and other health facilities grants and loans for construction and modernization. In return, they agreed to provide a reasonable volume of services to persons unable to pay and to make their services available to all persons residing in the facility’s area. The program stopped providing funds in 1997, but about 300 health care facilities nationwide are still obligated to provide free or reduced-cost care.
Steps to Apply for Hill-Burton Free or reduced-cost Care
1.Find the Hill-Burton obligated facility nearest you from the list of Hill-Burton obligated facilities.
2.Go to the facility's admissions or business office and ask for a copy of the Hill-Burton Individual Notice. The Individual Notice will tell you what income level makes you eligible for free or reduced-cost care, what services might be covered, and exactly where in the facility to apply.
3.Go to the office listed in the Individual Notice and say you want to apply for Hill-Burton free or reduced-cost care. You may need to fill out a form.
4.Gather any other required documents (such as a pay stub to prove income eligibility) and take or send them to the obligated facility.
5.If you are asked to apply for Medicaid, Medicare, or some other financial assistance program, you must do so.
6.When you return the completed application, ask for a Determination of Eligibility. Check the Individual Notice to see how much time the facility has before it must tell you whether or not you will receive free or reduced-cost care.
More about Hill-Burton Free or Reduced-Cost Care
You are eligible to apply for Hill-Burton free care if your income is at or below the current HHS Poverty Guidelines. You may be eligible for Hill-Burton reduced-cost care if your income is as much as two times (triple for nursing home care) the HHS Poverty Guidelines.
Care at a Hill-Burton obligated facility is not automatically free or reduced-cost. You must apply at the admissions or business office at the obligated facility and be found eligible to receive free or reduced-cost care. You may apply before or after you receive care -- you may even apply after a bill has been sent to a collection agency.
Some Hill-Burton facilities may use different eligibility standards and procedures.
Hill-Burton facilities must post a sign in their admissions and business offices and emergency room that says: NOTICE - Medical Care for Those Who Cannot Afford to Pay, and they must provide you with a written Individual Notice that lists the types of services eligible for Hill-Burton free or reduced-cost care, what income level qualifies for free or reduced-cost care and how long the facility may take in determining an applicant's eligibility.
Only facility costs are covered, not your private doctors' bills. Facilities may require you to provide documentation that verifies your eligibility, such as proof of income.
Hill-Burton facilities must provide a specific amount of free or reduced cost care each year, but can stop once they have given that amount. Obligated facilities publish an Allocation Plan in the local newspaper each year. The Allocation Plan includes the income criteria and the types of services it intends to provide at no cost or below cost. It also specifies the amount of free or reduced cost services it will provide for the year.
When you apply for Hill-Burton care, the obligated facility must provide you with a written statement that tells you what free or reduced-cost care services you will get or why you have been denied.
The facility may deny your request if
·Your income is more than the income specified in the Allocation Plan.
·The facility has given out its required amount of free care as specified in its Allocation Plan.
·The services you requested or received are not covered in the facility's Allocation Plan.
·The services you requested or received are to be paid by a governmental program such as Medicare/Medicaid or insurance.
·The facility asked you to apply for Medicare/Medicaid or other governmental program, and you did not.
·You did not give the facility proof of your income, such as a pay stub.
You may file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services if you believe you have been unfairly denied Hill-Burton free or reduced-cost care. Your complaint must be in writing and can be a letter that simply states the facts and dates concerning the complaint. You may call your local legal aid services for help in filing a complaint.
Where can I go to get free or reduced-cost prenatal care?
You can call this number if you need free birth control help, too!
Women in every state can get help to pay for medical care during their pregnancies. This prenatal care can help you have a healthy baby. Every state in the United States has a program to help. Programs give medical care, information, advice and other services important for a healthy pregnancy.
To find out about the program in your state:
·Call 1-800-311-BABY (1-800-311-2229) This toll-free telephone number will connect you to the Health Department in your area code
·For information in Spanish, call 1-800-504-7081
·Call or contact your local Health Department.
Basketball Shoes
I need a good Lawyer!!?
My ex wife has been living with her new boyfriend and they are engaged for almost two years. They have not gotten married nor does it seem like they are going to. My child support was built around her being a single mother of two - on her salary (schoolteacher) - paying all her own expenses. She actually brought me to court almost two years ago to get an increase - which she did.
Now she is living with him (he is a doctor) - still making her salary - has less expenses (no car payment) and my support is till at the higher rate.
Do I have any options??
Note: She moved away from me 3 years ago (out of state) and I had to sell our house and move also so I could be near my kids (big expense for me and higher cost of living adjustment). In addition to my support - I pay for their Health and Dental Ins. AND she still asks me to pay for other items such as back to school clothes, supplies, etc.
Help me please. I cannot put any money away for my Kid's future.
I need a good Lawyer!!?
You can go and get an adjustment on your child support, but you will still owe child support due from your earnings. That is what they base how much you have to pay. A man or woman that makes 20,000 a year will owe less than a man or woman that makes 70,000 a year. It's all about the math. Even if she married Donald Trump, you still have your obligation to support your kids.
I know how frustrating this is to you, but you do love your children. They will know you as their Father and will always grow to love and respect you for supporting them the most you possibly can. I know in my state..they can take up to 60% of income to due child support. Investigate. Know your rights. Depending on the laws in your state...You may be able to get child support lowered strictly through child support enforcement. You may not have to hire a lawyer at all. BUT! Anytime you fight a legal battle...It is best to have a lawyer on your side. Try to obtain a non-disgruntled outlook on this issue. I know it's going to be hard, but you can obtain that in time. You're going to have to deal with this obligation for many years to come. GOOD LUCK!
Reply:Just calla round your town
Reply:her bf is a doctoor. get a lawyer and take her to court to get every penny you can.
Reply:Ok i feel really bad for you.
Reply:You need to go back to court.You may want to bring proof she is living with someone.See if you can find a phone number,or something showing both their names listed at the same address.
Reply:Oh, you poor obsessed child support payer. It will never matter what he makes, it is what you and your ex make. It isn't your business if she NEVER marries again, just keep on paying the support for YOUR children. This is what you are supposed to do.
Reply:The title of your question is "I need a good lawyer," which is the answer to your question: You need a good lawyer.
Reply:you should go to www.freeadvice.com, there are plenty of people that are capable to answer this - retired lawyers, paralegals, etc.. post the question there
Reply:What state do you live in? Check out the link below, hopefully this can help you.
Hope this helps
Good luck
Reply:You will have to provide evidence that she is co-habiting with the Doctor. This could be provided by a private detective. Once you have the evidence you can apply to have your payments drastically reduced................
Now she is living with him (he is a doctor) - still making her salary - has less expenses (no car payment) and my support is till at the higher rate.
Do I have any options??
Note: She moved away from me 3 years ago (out of state) and I had to sell our house and move also so I could be near my kids (big expense for me and higher cost of living adjustment). In addition to my support - I pay for their Health and Dental Ins. AND she still asks me to pay for other items such as back to school clothes, supplies, etc.
Help me please. I cannot put any money away for my Kid's future.
I need a good Lawyer!!?
You can go and get an adjustment on your child support, but you will still owe child support due from your earnings. That is what they base how much you have to pay. A man or woman that makes 20,000 a year will owe less than a man or woman that makes 70,000 a year. It's all about the math. Even if she married Donald Trump, you still have your obligation to support your kids.
I know how frustrating this is to you, but you do love your children. They will know you as their Father and will always grow to love and respect you for supporting them the most you possibly can. I know in my state..they can take up to 60% of income to due child support. Investigate. Know your rights. Depending on the laws in your state...You may be able to get child support lowered strictly through child support enforcement. You may not have to hire a lawyer at all. BUT! Anytime you fight a legal battle...It is best to have a lawyer on your side. Try to obtain a non-disgruntled outlook on this issue. I know it's going to be hard, but you can obtain that in time. You're going to have to deal with this obligation for many years to come. GOOD LUCK!
Reply:Just calla round your town
Reply:her bf is a doctoor. get a lawyer and take her to court to get every penny you can.
Reply:Ok i feel really bad for you.
Reply:You need to go back to court.You may want to bring proof she is living with someone.See if you can find a phone number,or something showing both their names listed at the same address.
Reply:Oh, you poor obsessed child support payer. It will never matter what he makes, it is what you and your ex make. It isn't your business if she NEVER marries again, just keep on paying the support for YOUR children. This is what you are supposed to do.
Reply:The title of your question is "I need a good lawyer," which is the answer to your question: You need a good lawyer.
Reply:you should go to www.freeadvice.com, there are plenty of people that are capable to answer this - retired lawyers, paralegals, etc.. post the question there
Reply:What state do you live in? Check out the link below, hopefully this can help you.
Hope this helps
Good luck
Reply:You will have to provide evidence that she is co-habiting with the Doctor. This could be provided by a private detective. Once you have the evidence you can apply to have your payments drastically reduced................
Need good advice and/ or a Good Lawyer?
My ex wife has been living with her new boyfriend and they are engaged for almost two years. They have not gotten married nor does it seem like they are going to. My child support was built around her being a single mother of two - on her salary (schoolteacher) - paying all her own expenses. She actually brought me to court almost two years ago to get an increase - which she did.
Now she is living with him (he is a doctor) - still making her salary - has less expenses (no car payment) and my support is till at the higher rate.
Do I have any options??
Note: She moved away from me 3 years ago (out of state) and I had to sell our house and move also so I could be near my kids (big expense for me and higher cost of living adjustment). In addition to my support - I pay for their Health and Dental Ins. AND she still asks me to pay for other items such as back to school clothes, supplies, etc.
Help me please. I cannot put any money away for my Kid's future.
Need good advice and/ or a Good Lawyer?
First of all, if you are paying child support you are not responsible for paying for extras...that's what HER money is for. Child support is for things your kids need, roof over their head, food, clothes..not extras that they can live without. As to the part about her living with someone else, they may be living together, he may be supporting her, but until they are married his (the boyfriend) income is not considered in your child support figures. When my ex husband and I were going through our divorce, he tried to say that because I had a boyfriend that my boyfriends income should be added in with mine to figure how much child support he pays. In my situation I was responsible for all my own bills, my boyfriend did not pay my bills, nor did the room mate I shared my apartment with. When we went to court, my ex husband told the judge that I had a boyfriend, told him that my boyfriend lived with me, I stated that was true. However, until they (your ex and the boyfriend) are married, the boyfriend's income does not count towards what you do or don't pay. Once they are married however, then his income will get figured in with hers. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but in my situation that was how the cards fell. Now, every state is different, and every judge is different. If you are concerned, contact a lawyer and see what your rights are in this situation. The thing I'm curious about though, is if you are paying your child support to take care of your children, why are you concerned with how much you are paying? Are your children worth less to you just because their mother might be making more now than she was before? These are your children, and no amount of money, and paying less money will not change that. It is your obligation to help take care of them, regardless of what the mother is doing.
Reply:REFUSE TO PAY FOR EXTRA'S!!! This is what your child support is for and if she is so well off then she shouldnt be asking for it anyways. Id see a lawyer asap!
Reply:Discuss it with your lawyer. You have responsibilities as does she. You have your rights too and a lot going in your favour.
Reply:Get a decent lawyer, although that may be hard to find.I think the best option is to go back to court and explain the situation fully. If you take a lawyer who knows his stuff you may get a reduction in payments becase of the circumstances you outlined.
Good luck
Reply:it might help to know where u are from. u do not have to pay for the extra expenses that is in with the child support. also the insurance u would ahve to pay. when they get married is when ur increase should lower.
Check this source out it is a calculator for all states It helps u define what u should really be paying. THis women is cleaning the streets with u
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childs...
Reply:That's selfish she's bitter and greedy, you should only be giving her $300 per child and that's it and if you buy something you should deduct it from that money, you shouldn't have to pay for her and them that's highway robbery. My ex husband gives me $500 a month, pays his insurance and does some shopping for our son but I don't ask for any extras he has to live too.
Reply:uh...only pay what the court has ordered you to pay. plain and simple. and even if she married Bill Gates or Donald Trump what her new husband makes is of no concern of yours or the courts.
you can ask for a re-evaluation for support. that never hurts. she would have to prove she is paying for all of her expenses such as car payments and such. if you have more expenses redo the Income and Expense form. as much as it sucks, any savings accounts or college funds for the kids is still kind of listed as disposable income for the children. technically, it's her responsibilty to save some of the child support money for their college if she so chooses.
Reply:I think that the medical and health care benefits should compensate some of these expenses off your payment. In CA they do include your health care for your children. There is a reason for her not being married yet and that is why. When she does in fact get married you should know your alimony stops. Your child support does not however. You should re-open and re-modify the payments. Keep in mind that the judge will over see the fact that she has a well off fiance. The only thing the court really wants to see in order to favor your stipulation is your consistency, and the actual necessities involved. Meaning, you can request receipts for all she claims to purchase for the children. If that does not add up to what your paying in payments or near enough to justify your contributing a substantial amount of money the judge may just favor you. Save all of your receipts and any extra itinerary add them up, get an attorney and request that you have a fixed budget strictly for your children so she can't use or see a penny of that ... Good luck
Reply:Find out what the common law marriage laws are in your state and her state and talk to an attorney. Also know your divorce laws. Many states now this available online. You may be able to get a reduction, but maybe not. Depends on the laws in your state and maybe even hers. Every state is different. You may get some answers from www.findlaw.com
Reply:maybe its different in different states, but this is what i've found true in oklahoma.....
child support is based only on the father and mothers personal income. any income from other relationships cant be included in determining child support.
i have done some research on parents taking their kids and moving. a parent has to have permission from the other parent to take a child out of the state they live in, especially if you have court orders that specify when you have visitation, etc. this applies to any state. she cannot take your kids and move wherever she wants. that obstructs your visitation and could get her in big trouble. you can google 'custodial interference' and find a lot of information that may be useful. could even be considered a misdemeanor or a felony.
also, in oklahoma, you would have to give her permission to have that guy around your kids. i believe the time cut off is 10pm. they cant be in the house past that time without your permission, let alone live with your kids without your permission and without being married to your ex-wife.
you paying for their insurance is not unusual. here, that is normal.
as for the school supplies and extra costs, that is what your child support is for. she cant demand more money from you without going to court and having the courts order you to do so.
for now, stop doing everything she tells you to do. she cannot legally demand anything without going back to court and getting official court orders.
Reply:That's a good question, Scott. Don't hesitate in contacting a lawyer. A lot of them give free initial consultations so you can at least see if there is anything you can do without having to pay them. Good luck. When you call just ask them if the first appointment/interview is free of charge.
Now she is living with him (he is a doctor) - still making her salary - has less expenses (no car payment) and my support is till at the higher rate.
Do I have any options??
Note: She moved away from me 3 years ago (out of state) and I had to sell our house and move also so I could be near my kids (big expense for me and higher cost of living adjustment). In addition to my support - I pay for their Health and Dental Ins. AND she still asks me to pay for other items such as back to school clothes, supplies, etc.
Help me please. I cannot put any money away for my Kid's future.
Need good advice and/ or a Good Lawyer?
First of all, if you are paying child support you are not responsible for paying for extras...that's what HER money is for. Child support is for things your kids need, roof over their head, food, clothes..not extras that they can live without. As to the part about her living with someone else, they may be living together, he may be supporting her, but until they are married his (the boyfriend) income is not considered in your child support figures. When my ex husband and I were going through our divorce, he tried to say that because I had a boyfriend that my boyfriends income should be added in with mine to figure how much child support he pays. In my situation I was responsible for all my own bills, my boyfriend did not pay my bills, nor did the room mate I shared my apartment with. When we went to court, my ex husband told the judge that I had a boyfriend, told him that my boyfriend lived with me, I stated that was true. However, until they (your ex and the boyfriend) are married, the boyfriend's income does not count towards what you do or don't pay. Once they are married however, then his income will get figured in with hers. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but in my situation that was how the cards fell. Now, every state is different, and every judge is different. If you are concerned, contact a lawyer and see what your rights are in this situation. The thing I'm curious about though, is if you are paying your child support to take care of your children, why are you concerned with how much you are paying? Are your children worth less to you just because their mother might be making more now than she was before? These are your children, and no amount of money, and paying less money will not change that. It is your obligation to help take care of them, regardless of what the mother is doing.
Reply:REFUSE TO PAY FOR EXTRA'S!!! This is what your child support is for and if she is so well off then she shouldnt be asking for it anyways. Id see a lawyer asap!
Reply:Discuss it with your lawyer. You have responsibilities as does she. You have your rights too and a lot going in your favour.
Reply:Get a decent lawyer, although that may be hard to find.I think the best option is to go back to court and explain the situation fully. If you take a lawyer who knows his stuff you may get a reduction in payments becase of the circumstances you outlined.
Good luck
Reply:it might help to know where u are from. u do not have to pay for the extra expenses that is in with the child support. also the insurance u would ahve to pay. when they get married is when ur increase should lower.
Check this source out it is a calculator for all states It helps u define what u should really be paying. THis women is cleaning the streets with u
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childs...
Reply:That's selfish she's bitter and greedy, you should only be giving her $300 per child and that's it and if you buy something you should deduct it from that money, you shouldn't have to pay for her and them that's highway robbery. My ex husband gives me $500 a month, pays his insurance and does some shopping for our son but I don't ask for any extras he has to live too.
Reply:uh...only pay what the court has ordered you to pay. plain and simple. and even if she married Bill Gates or Donald Trump what her new husband makes is of no concern of yours or the courts.
you can ask for a re-evaluation for support. that never hurts. she would have to prove she is paying for all of her expenses such as car payments and such. if you have more expenses redo the Income and Expense form. as much as it sucks, any savings accounts or college funds for the kids is still kind of listed as disposable income for the children. technically, it's her responsibilty to save some of the child support money for their college if she so chooses.
Reply:I think that the medical and health care benefits should compensate some of these expenses off your payment. In CA they do include your health care for your children. There is a reason for her not being married yet and that is why. When she does in fact get married you should know your alimony stops. Your child support does not however. You should re-open and re-modify the payments. Keep in mind that the judge will over see the fact that she has a well off fiance. The only thing the court really wants to see in order to favor your stipulation is your consistency, and the actual necessities involved. Meaning, you can request receipts for all she claims to purchase for the children. If that does not add up to what your paying in payments or near enough to justify your contributing a substantial amount of money the judge may just favor you. Save all of your receipts and any extra itinerary add them up, get an attorney and request that you have a fixed budget strictly for your children so she can't use or see a penny of that ... Good luck
Reply:Find out what the common law marriage laws are in your state and her state and talk to an attorney. Also know your divorce laws. Many states now this available online. You may be able to get a reduction, but maybe not. Depends on the laws in your state and maybe even hers. Every state is different. You may get some answers from www.findlaw.com
Reply:maybe its different in different states, but this is what i've found true in oklahoma.....
child support is based only on the father and mothers personal income. any income from other relationships cant be included in determining child support.
i have done some research on parents taking their kids and moving. a parent has to have permission from the other parent to take a child out of the state they live in, especially if you have court orders that specify when you have visitation, etc. this applies to any state. she cannot take your kids and move wherever she wants. that obstructs your visitation and could get her in big trouble. you can google 'custodial interference' and find a lot of information that may be useful. could even be considered a misdemeanor or a felony.
also, in oklahoma, you would have to give her permission to have that guy around your kids. i believe the time cut off is 10pm. they cant be in the house past that time without your permission, let alone live with your kids without your permission and without being married to your ex-wife.
you paying for their insurance is not unusual. here, that is normal.
as for the school supplies and extra costs, that is what your child support is for. she cant demand more money from you without going to court and having the courts order you to do so.
for now, stop doing everything she tells you to do. she cannot legally demand anything without going back to court and getting official court orders.
Reply:That's a good question, Scott. Don't hesitate in contacting a lawyer. A lot of them give free initial consultations so you can at least see if there is anything you can do without having to pay them. Good luck. When you call just ask them if the first appointment/interview is free of charge.
Anyone who produces kids like crazy but can't take care of them should be forcibly sterilized?
I'm sorry but I'm going on a rant today. People who make babies like rabbits but then don't take care of them financially make me sick.
Ex, polygamous men who in the name of their religion make 30 kids with 4 women and yet all his wives are on welfare. Single moms barely making it with 6 kids getting pregnant again while on welfare. Men who have 5 different baby mamas yet don't pay a dime or see their kids. Poor working couples who choose to have 8 kids while living in a 1bdrm apartment. People who choose to start a second family when they know they can't even afford to pay for their kids from the first marriage.
Everyone knows that sexual, emotional, and physical abuse is a evil crime but for some reason financial abuse is given a free slid. Not being able to provide for your kids with good dental, medical, healthy fresh groceries, heat, hydro, school items, clothes, personal items, shelter, furniture, toys, enough living space, health supplies etc is ABUSE.
Anyone who produces kids like crazy but can't take care of them should be forcibly sterilized?
Yes its called Eugenics. You should look it up.
The Nazi thought it was a good idea too!!! Yeah for Nazi's!!!!
Whatever you fascist.
Reply:And what's your question?
Reply:MAYBE not sterilized but the children need good homes.
Reply:You need to get over it...That is the way the world is...you can vent about it all you want... but... it isn't going to change anytime soon.. I understand your animosity...but you have to remember we don't live in a perfect world...
Reply:i haveto say i agree with you. people need to stop having sex if they can't afford it. or wear a mother ******* condom, i mean seriously, come on, people are so freaking idiotic. when i was in midd. school, 2 girls got pregnant. one of 'em twice and she killed the baby cause she stopped eating. they were mexican and with no heart at all. im mexican and i have to say i hate them.
Reply:Forced sterilization. Sure, why not. Nobody in history every did something like that, did they, Adolf.
Nah. Take a look in the papers. There's hundreds of thousands of families who want to adopt kids because they're unable to have their own.
Oh and last I checked, being poor isn't "abuse".
Reply:Awwww someone needs a hug.
Reply:I agree, they should make a law to (fix) those that can't take care of their responsibilities. I as a single/in a relationship mother and I am taking care of my only child with little or no help from the father. He also has two other children by two different women other than myself. They fix animals so this doesn't happen. Its not fair to the children to suffer for all the idiot parents. It's not easy for me but i do it because i have a responsibility to my child to take care of him. If you can't do that you should get fixed and give your children to someone who will love them and take care of them.
Reply:I agree. When I hear of people doing this, it makes me sick. Not only do they not take care of them but the fact that they are having sexual relations with several other people is really bad. To make matters worse these kids are probably subject to this sexual activity because they are uncontrolled or not cared for. My friend adopted 4 children several years ago who had been in this situation. Their mother was, to put it bluntly, a whore and they had to watch as their mother had sex with alot of different men. I'm sure that these children were sexually abused and they now carry that sexual interest that their mother did, they have even been caught on several occasions with having sexual relations with each other, and they are brothers. This is sick and wrong and the only cause is their mother's sick thinking.
Reply:Are you saying being poor is abusive? Now I've heard it all. No, I don't agree with people having children when they won't work and live off welfare. However, I grew up poor, my kids are growing up fairly poor, and you know what, we're just fine. My kids learned to work hard, help people out that need it, and not to look their noses down on others who don't have very much. Your attitude tells me you never had to clean bathrooms for a living, or wait on some snotty customer at a restaurant, or assemble the same thing, over and over, for 10 straight hours. You think the world revolves around you, but what would you do without those of us who "financially abuse" our kids? Who would fix your car, or wash your clothes, or defend your country? Would you even know how to live without electricity, gas, guess what, I do. Maybe you should be sterilized.
Reply:ok ok hold your horses.
FORCED STERILISATION= CLEAR VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
and hello what about the millions of families who want to adopt?
Ex, polygamous men who in the name of their religion make 30 kids with 4 women and yet all his wives are on welfare. Single moms barely making it with 6 kids getting pregnant again while on welfare. Men who have 5 different baby mamas yet don't pay a dime or see their kids. Poor working couples who choose to have 8 kids while living in a 1bdrm apartment. People who choose to start a second family when they know they can't even afford to pay for their kids from the first marriage.
Everyone knows that sexual, emotional, and physical abuse is a evil crime but for some reason financial abuse is given a free slid. Not being able to provide for your kids with good dental, medical, healthy fresh groceries, heat, hydro, school items, clothes, personal items, shelter, furniture, toys, enough living space, health supplies etc is ABUSE.
Anyone who produces kids like crazy but can't take care of them should be forcibly sterilized?
Yes its called Eugenics. You should look it up.
The Nazi thought it was a good idea too!!! Yeah for Nazi's!!!!
Whatever you fascist.
Reply:And what's your question?
Reply:MAYBE not sterilized but the children need good homes.
Reply:You need to get over it...That is the way the world is...you can vent about it all you want... but... it isn't going to change anytime soon.. I understand your animosity...but you have to remember we don't live in a perfect world...
Reply:i haveto say i agree with you. people need to stop having sex if they can't afford it. or wear a mother ******* condom, i mean seriously, come on, people are so freaking idiotic. when i was in midd. school, 2 girls got pregnant. one of 'em twice and she killed the baby cause she stopped eating. they were mexican and with no heart at all. im mexican and i have to say i hate them.
Reply:Forced sterilization. Sure, why not. Nobody in history every did something like that, did they, Adolf.
Nah. Take a look in the papers. There's hundreds of thousands of families who want to adopt kids because they're unable to have their own.
Oh and last I checked, being poor isn't "abuse".
Reply:Awwww someone needs a hug.
Reply:I agree, they should make a law to (fix) those that can't take care of their responsibilities. I as a single/in a relationship mother and I am taking care of my only child with little or no help from the father. He also has two other children by two different women other than myself. They fix animals so this doesn't happen. Its not fair to the children to suffer for all the idiot parents. It's not easy for me but i do it because i have a responsibility to my child to take care of him. If you can't do that you should get fixed and give your children to someone who will love them and take care of them.
Reply:I agree. When I hear of people doing this, it makes me sick. Not only do they not take care of them but the fact that they are having sexual relations with several other people is really bad. To make matters worse these kids are probably subject to this sexual activity because they are uncontrolled or not cared for. My friend adopted 4 children several years ago who had been in this situation. Their mother was, to put it bluntly, a whore and they had to watch as their mother had sex with alot of different men. I'm sure that these children were sexually abused and they now carry that sexual interest that their mother did, they have even been caught on several occasions with having sexual relations with each other, and they are brothers. This is sick and wrong and the only cause is their mother's sick thinking.
Reply:Are you saying being poor is abusive? Now I've heard it all. No, I don't agree with people having children when they won't work and live off welfare. However, I grew up poor, my kids are growing up fairly poor, and you know what, we're just fine. My kids learned to work hard, help people out that need it, and not to look their noses down on others who don't have very much. Your attitude tells me you never had to clean bathrooms for a living, or wait on some snotty customer at a restaurant, or assemble the same thing, over and over, for 10 straight hours. You think the world revolves around you, but what would you do without those of us who "financially abuse" our kids? Who would fix your car, or wash your clothes, or defend your country? Would you even know how to live without electricity, gas, guess what, I do. Maybe you should be sterilized.
Reply:ok ok hold your horses.
FORCED STERILISATION= CLEAR VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
and hello what about the millions of families who want to adopt?
Mommy Job Description?
POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys , and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp;PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated. Plus,
being a mother, I'm too tired to type everyone's name
Mommy Job Description?
wow!! This is the cutest, funniest thing I have ever read! I am stay at home mother of children, under the age of 7, and this was sooooo true!
I will be sure to forward this to many of my mother friends! thank you:)
Reply:lol....ain't that right!
Reply:There are MANY qualified candidates out there! :)
Reply:LOL! This gave me a laugh, thanks I need it :))
Reply:Couldnt have put it better myslef! If we actually got paid for being Moms the world bank would collapse. And yet I l still love this job.
Reply:Bravo. Well written.
Reply:Nice, Thanks!
Reply:This is amazing!!! I'm sending to my mother right away!!!!
Reply:If that doesn't hit the head on the nail....thanks for the laugh. I needed it
Reply:So very true...but ask yourself this if you'd have read this in the paper would you have applied?
Knowing what I know now about being a Mom I'd say "yes" because I truly love that little smile I get when he wants to be cute and don't know how I ever made it in the world before he came along. A frustrating job but the rewards are phenomenal.
To all the Moms out there give yourself a pat on the back!!
Reply:That is simply too adorable!!!
♠
Tooth Ache
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys , and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp;PROMOTION :
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated. Plus,
being a mother, I'm too tired to type everyone's name
Mommy Job Description?
wow!! This is the cutest, funniest thing I have ever read! I am stay at home mother of children, under the age of 7, and this was sooooo true!
I will be sure to forward this to many of my mother friends! thank you:)
Reply:lol....ain't that right!
Reply:There are MANY qualified candidates out there! :)
Reply:LOL! This gave me a laugh, thanks I need it :))
Reply:Couldnt have put it better myslef! If we actually got paid for being Moms the world bank would collapse. And yet I l still love this job.
Reply:Bravo. Well written.
Reply:Nice, Thanks!
Reply:This is amazing!!! I'm sending to my mother right away!!!!
Reply:If that doesn't hit the head on the nail....thanks for the laugh. I needed it
Reply:So very true...but ask yourself this if you'd have read this in the paper would you have applied?
Knowing what I know now about being a Mom I'd say "yes" because I truly love that little smile I get when he wants to be cute and don't know how I ever made it in the world before he came along. A frustrating job but the rewards are phenomenal.
To all the Moms out there give yourself a pat on the back!!
Reply:That is simply too adorable!!!
♠
Tooth Ache
How many of you would/have applied for this?
PARENT - Job Description
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also
required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of
all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one
minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product
safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery
operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for
the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of
the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when
they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever
is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you
actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
How many of you would/have applied for this?
LMAO!
First got the job 8yrs ago and have since been lucky enough to add two additional responsibilities into the mix!
Hard work it's true, but there's absolutely nothing like that first smile in the morning, the hug that starts at the other side of the room and is at full tilt when it hits you, or the sound of your 2yr old saying 'wuv you mummy'.
Also teaches you to appreciate quiet, lol!
Reply:yeah most ppl give in the end - funny !
Reply:I would!!! lol bless us!
Reply:I'm in!
Reply:wouldn't have applied for it out fo choice but sometimes you have no choice!!!!!!
that's life!!!!!!!
Reply:not me
Reply:I would so want this job. I love kids! I hope I have at least ten or twenty, no joke!
Reply:that is my job...general dogs body for my family....but the hugs are nice....
Reply:sounds great!! I have two teenagers and im sure you must have missed some point off your list.. my life is one long exhaustive roller coaster ride!
Reply:i didn't apply, but got the job anyway
Reply:benifits not much
Reply:Can't say it's my dream.
Reply:only an idiot would have kids. i stand by that statement. too bad hormones lie.
Reply:I did. I applied and was hired without any references.
Reply:Well, when you put it like that...
I think I'll wait a good few years until I let myself in for all that.
Reply:I would have loved to, unfortunatley I have no children.
Reply:yep that would be me....
any more questions?
Reply:So true-i got the job!!xx
Reply:Thank GOD for those jobs! I love mine.
Reply:hhmmm....i dont know, if i didnt get holiday pay, considering i had to go through all of that!
Reply:Thats the funniest thing I've ever read...haven't applied yet, but you make it sound so much fun!!
Reply:I hear ya! I applied for it and got it! It's the most demanding, hardest, heartbreaking, rewarding job in the world. How ironic, huh?
Reply:Well if you don't get independence day off, count me OUT.
Reply:Loving Johnny Trash's answer
Reply:Good one! If more people knew all of this, they would use more protection! lol Have a great day!!
Reply:Yes i applied for this position, but gotta say it aint as bad as ur making out, so far anyway, hes only 2 so i have a long way to go. But what i will say is, i will never ever apply again, not even if i was guaranteed a million bucks %26amp; a nanny into the bargain lol.
Reply:I did so willingly. Now add a paragraph to describe what being a single parent is like.
Reply:i didn't apply for the job but got it anyway, pays crap, hours are long
Reply:are you a proffesional writer?
Reply:heh heh, it's not a job I want to apply for and I'm happy with my choice, but it's very amusing.
enjoy the job!
Reply:Shri Ravindranath Tagore, a Noble laureate,said that marriage is like one such house ,where people who are inside want to come out and those standing outside the house want to enter it.
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also
required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs £5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of
all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one
minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product
safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery
operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for
the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of
the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when
they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever
is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you
actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
How many of you would/have applied for this?
LMAO!
First got the job 8yrs ago and have since been lucky enough to add two additional responsibilities into the mix!
Hard work it's true, but there's absolutely nothing like that first smile in the morning, the hug that starts at the other side of the room and is at full tilt when it hits you, or the sound of your 2yr old saying 'wuv you mummy'.
Also teaches you to appreciate quiet, lol!
Reply:yeah most ppl give in the end - funny !
Reply:I would!!! lol bless us!
Reply:I'm in!
Reply:wouldn't have applied for it out fo choice but sometimes you have no choice!!!!!!
that's life!!!!!!!
Reply:not me
Reply:I would so want this job. I love kids! I hope I have at least ten or twenty, no joke!
Reply:that is my job...general dogs body for my family....but the hugs are nice....
Reply:sounds great!! I have two teenagers and im sure you must have missed some point off your list.. my life is one long exhaustive roller coaster ride!
Reply:i didn't apply, but got the job anyway
Reply:benifits not much
Reply:Can't say it's my dream.
Reply:only an idiot would have kids. i stand by that statement. too bad hormones lie.
Reply:I did. I applied and was hired without any references.
Reply:Well, when you put it like that...
I think I'll wait a good few years until I let myself in for all that.
Reply:I would have loved to, unfortunatley I have no children.
Reply:yep that would be me....
any more questions?
Reply:So true-i got the job!!xx
Reply:Thank GOD for those jobs! I love mine.
Reply:hhmmm....i dont know, if i didnt get holiday pay, considering i had to go through all of that!
Reply:Thats the funniest thing I've ever read...haven't applied yet, but you make it sound so much fun!!
Reply:I hear ya! I applied for it and got it! It's the most demanding, hardest, heartbreaking, rewarding job in the world. How ironic, huh?
Reply:Well if you don't get independence day off, count me OUT.
Reply:Loving Johnny Trash's answer
Reply:Good one! If more people knew all of this, they would use more protection! lol Have a great day!!
Reply:Yes i applied for this position, but gotta say it aint as bad as ur making out, so far anyway, hes only 2 so i have a long way to go. But what i will say is, i will never ever apply again, not even if i was guaranteed a million bucks %26amp; a nanny into the bargain lol.
Reply:I did so willingly. Now add a paragraph to describe what being a single parent is like.
Reply:i didn't apply for the job but got it anyway, pays crap, hours are long
Reply:are you a proffesional writer?
Reply:heh heh, it's not a job I want to apply for and I'm happy with my choice, but it's very amusing.
enjoy the job!
Reply:Shri Ravindranath Tagore, a Noble laureate,said that marriage is like one such house ,where people who are inside want to come out and those standing outside the house want to enter it.
Parent: job description?
PARENT - Job Description
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental MFEMFEMFE, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
Parent: job description?
omg i love it!!!
Reply:Nice! A friend teaches parenting classes. I'll forward to her.
Reply:It took a lot of reading but was worth it for the insight of my life..
Reply:That's a really good one hahahahaha
Reply:Sounds difficult, I actually don't want kids anyway. But i like the idea, very well made. : )
Reply:lol good one :) !!!
Reply:sounds like a horrible job.. maybe one day i'll want it.. but not today.
Reply:Parents get a crappy deal.
Reply:LOL really funny =D
Reply:Nice one!
Reply:Gr8...:)
Reply:wonderful!!!
How true.
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental MFEMFEMFE, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
Parent: job description?
omg i love it!!!
Reply:Nice! A friend teaches parenting classes. I'll forward to her.
Reply:It took a lot of reading but was worth it for the insight of my life..
Reply:That's a really good one hahahahaha
Reply:Sounds difficult, I actually don't want kids anyway. But i like the idea, very well made. : )
Reply:lol good one :) !!!
Reply:sounds like a horrible job.. maybe one day i'll want it.. but not today.
Reply:Parents get a crappy deal.
Reply:LOL really funny =D
Reply:Nice one!
Reply:Gr8...:)
Reply:wonderful!!!
How true.
Parent vacancy and job description?
PARENT - Job Description
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental MFEMFEMFE, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
Parent vacancy and job description?
lmbo
Reply:please answer my question, just type in 'How to get your friend to like you more?'
Reply:Thats fantastic!
Reply:lmao spot on. have printed it out and have pinned it on fridge
Reply:This is good, I am sending it to my dad.
Reply:i became a mom, i realized it now
Reply:Sent!
Reply:nice read
Reply:So true, thanks for making me smile
Reply:ah ha ha ha thats so cool!! and true !!
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT %26amp; PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental MFEMFEMFE, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
Parent vacancy and job description?
lmbo
Reply:please answer my question, just type in 'How to get your friend to like you more?'
Reply:Thats fantastic!
Reply:lmao spot on. have printed it out and have pinned it on fridge
Reply:This is good, I am sending it to my dad.
Reply:i became a mom, i realized it now
Reply:Sent!
Reply:nice read
Reply:So true, thanks for making me smile
Reply:ah ha ha ha thats so cool!! and true !!
Anyone who produces kids like crazy but can't take care of them should be forcibly sterilized?
I'm sorry but I'm going on a rant today. People who make babies like rabbits but then don't take care of them financially make me sick.
Ex, polygamous men who in the name of their religion make 30 kids with 4 women and yet all his wives are on welfare. Single moms barely making it with 6 kids getting pregnant again while on welfare. Men who have 5 different baby mamas yet don't pay a dime or see their kids. Poor working couples who choose to have 8 kids while living in a 1bdrm apartment. People who choose to start a second family when they know they can't even afford to pay for their kids from the first marriage.
Everyone knows that sexual, emotional, and physical abuse is a evil crime but for some reason financial abuse is given a free slid. Not being able to provide for your kids with good dental, medical, healthy fresh groceries, heat, hydro, school items, clothes, personal items, shelter, furniture, toys, enough living space, health supplies etc is ABUSE.
Anyone who produces kids like crazy but can't take care of them should be forcibly sterilized?
It's a losing battle......too bad birth control is not mandatory.
Reply:yah I know I hate ppl who do that to those children
just can leave them and thats it
I understand adoption but just leaving ur kid with one parent to take care of them all by themselves is wrong
ppl who do that lots yah maybe they should be sterillized but we both know there are gonna be ppl on here whining" oh thats against our rights blah blah blah" but what about those kids rights
as long as ppl still have there right to do whatever they want than the innocent kids who are left in dust dont seem to matter
the world sucks in a lot of ways but the best we can do is take care of our responsiblitys
Reply:WOW!!! Who pissed in your cheerios this morning????
Reply:SNIP !!!, SNIP!!!
Reply:I was going to go into a rant here about people who judge before they know about situations.... but I decided that you are a waste of breath and time. I'll just say that MOST people who have children DO see to it that their children get what they need. Financial abuse? So like if you are in a good place in life finacially and all of a sudden your finacial situation changes for the worse Child Services should come in and take your children? Get a life.
Reply:I agree...I think its horrible that people bring kids into the world just to stay on welfare..or knowing they will not be taken care of and loved..and there are people in the world that would give anything in the world to have a baby to rock to sleep at night and that would give them a good home..but are unable to have kids..It is a shame..and like you said..very often overlooked.... Very heartbreaking.. I read a statistic that in 2002-2003 there were over 530,000 kids in foster care in the US...thats unreal...
Reply:I agree 100%. There are a couple states in the U.S. (not enough though) that limit welfare benefits. That is...if you have two kids and apply for welfare, you'll get it, but if you have any kids AFTER filing for the initial benefits, those kids won't be covered.
Reply:AMEN I agree with you 150%. Its to bad this country isn't like other countries. I feel if you can't afford kids after 1, 2,3 at the most it should be mandatory tubal before leaving the hospital. (3 is pushing it to!)
Reply:hey its not just the people that cant do it finacially the thing that is just about as equal in abuse is the people who have money and spoil their kids so rotten they expect to have everything handed to them like the little girl that gets bmw for her 16th birthday and starts screaming you got me the wrong ******** color i wanted red and then totals it 3 weeks later trying to find her phone or putting on lipstick thats abuse too people being spoiled rotten is abuse too and im not saying there is anything wrong with having money but you gotta work for what you get dont just han dsh!t to them like its going out of style those parents buy their kids so i ask whats worse buying your kids or not having money but loving them and if the cost of everything but the paycheck keeps going up who wont be 'poor' when they get min wage 5.15 an hr and need groceries for two days that equal a whole check or electicity that costs them a check and a half when they already work two jobs?????i understand the rant but theres the reverse rant and the question is why does the government raise all costs except pay thats why we have people that cant afford things other than love we dont all get paid 10 mil for a movie or to sign a 5 yr contract to coach football right i mean high school coaches dont get paid that why should a college or nfl coach if we could all play sports or act or sing then no one would be poor but you dont see the rich giving out a couple grand to each working class surving paycheck to paycheck person do you no they would rather advertise for donate to the africa aids foundation i do so wont you help and im not saying i dont care about world issues like that but come on it is just as bad over here with somethings so i will get off my soap box just giving another thought to your rant
Reply:Unfortunately not every one looks at it like your or I do and sees it that way. It is a total shame to bring so many children into the world when you are unable to provide for them, and the children suffer because of it.
I doubt that the people in this world will ever change. That they will suddenly say to them selves, gee honey I think we should stop at one child since were only just scrapping by as it is.
That would require them to use birth control, some people just don't believe in doing that. I saw a family on TV that had like 17 children and they were all their own children. They plan on having as many children as they can, so that mean more children are going to come for them.
I'm sorry but, Are you kidding me? Is she waiting for her uterus to fall out or what? I know that they are taking care of their own children but, are each of these children getting the individual attention that each child should get? I really doubt that very much.
These children are good kids don't get me wrong, but the parents had to have a bigger house and they had their own children helping to build the house that they fianally moved into. What kind of a childhood is that? They are home schooled and they do not get together with other children in their community. I wonder how these children will survive in a world where they don't even know any thing about it, it's like they are living in a bubble. Pretty scary to say the least!!
Reply:you do make a good point for the 5 baby-dady situation,but you are placing too much on the money. Money happens, some have it, some don't. If everybody in your family line always waited to have cash, you wouldn't be here. That can be said for everybody on the planet. Life should be the focus. presence in the child's life is far more important. I have 3 children, they all live with me and my wife. Everything I have is thiers. we are covered by my employer's insurance, they have food, and clothing(mostly donated clothing), and the bills are just barly paid. And I have no money for anything else.I have no fancy stuff, Just what i need to work. anybody can do what I do, but most just don't want to sacrifice like this. That is the real problem, parential selfishness, not a lack of cash. I have no money, and my children are taken care of.
Reply:I compleatly agree with you. If you are not financially stable or have a stable relationship, you should not be having children.
People that use their religion as an excuse for all the children they have (for example, their religiong doesn't let them use ANY form of birth control) Should jsut stop having sex.
Reply:I agree with shamus_jack..There is more to it than money
Reply:I totally agree. It pisses me off that working people have to pay for everything their child needs, yet an unwed woman with 6 children gets everything handed to them.
Electric Scooter
Ex, polygamous men who in the name of their religion make 30 kids with 4 women and yet all his wives are on welfare. Single moms barely making it with 6 kids getting pregnant again while on welfare. Men who have 5 different baby mamas yet don't pay a dime or see their kids. Poor working couples who choose to have 8 kids while living in a 1bdrm apartment. People who choose to start a second family when they know they can't even afford to pay for their kids from the first marriage.
Everyone knows that sexual, emotional, and physical abuse is a evil crime but for some reason financial abuse is given a free slid. Not being able to provide for your kids with good dental, medical, healthy fresh groceries, heat, hydro, school items, clothes, personal items, shelter, furniture, toys, enough living space, health supplies etc is ABUSE.
Anyone who produces kids like crazy but can't take care of them should be forcibly sterilized?
It's a losing battle......too bad birth control is not mandatory.
Reply:yah I know I hate ppl who do that to those children
just can leave them and thats it
I understand adoption but just leaving ur kid with one parent to take care of them all by themselves is wrong
ppl who do that lots yah maybe they should be sterillized but we both know there are gonna be ppl on here whining" oh thats against our rights blah blah blah" but what about those kids rights
as long as ppl still have there right to do whatever they want than the innocent kids who are left in dust dont seem to matter
the world sucks in a lot of ways but the best we can do is take care of our responsiblitys
Reply:WOW!!! Who pissed in your cheerios this morning????
Reply:SNIP !!!, SNIP!!!
Reply:I was going to go into a rant here about people who judge before they know about situations.... but I decided that you are a waste of breath and time. I'll just say that MOST people who have children DO see to it that their children get what they need. Financial abuse? So like if you are in a good place in life finacially and all of a sudden your finacial situation changes for the worse Child Services should come in and take your children? Get a life.
Reply:I agree...I think its horrible that people bring kids into the world just to stay on welfare..or knowing they will not be taken care of and loved..and there are people in the world that would give anything in the world to have a baby to rock to sleep at night and that would give them a good home..but are unable to have kids..It is a shame..and like you said..very often overlooked.... Very heartbreaking.. I read a statistic that in 2002-2003 there were over 530,000 kids in foster care in the US...thats unreal...
Reply:I agree 100%. There are a couple states in the U.S. (not enough though) that limit welfare benefits. That is...if you have two kids and apply for welfare, you'll get it, but if you have any kids AFTER filing for the initial benefits, those kids won't be covered.
Reply:AMEN I agree with you 150%. Its to bad this country isn't like other countries. I feel if you can't afford kids after 1, 2,3 at the most it should be mandatory tubal before leaving the hospital. (3 is pushing it to!)
Reply:hey its not just the people that cant do it finacially the thing that is just about as equal in abuse is the people who have money and spoil their kids so rotten they expect to have everything handed to them like the little girl that gets bmw for her 16th birthday and starts screaming you got me the wrong ******** color i wanted red and then totals it 3 weeks later trying to find her phone or putting on lipstick thats abuse too people being spoiled rotten is abuse too and im not saying there is anything wrong with having money but you gotta work for what you get dont just han dsh!t to them like its going out of style those parents buy their kids so i ask whats worse buying your kids or not having money but loving them and if the cost of everything but the paycheck keeps going up who wont be 'poor' when they get min wage 5.15 an hr and need groceries for two days that equal a whole check or electicity that costs them a check and a half when they already work two jobs?????i understand the rant but theres the reverse rant and the question is why does the government raise all costs except pay thats why we have people that cant afford things other than love we dont all get paid 10 mil for a movie or to sign a 5 yr contract to coach football right i mean high school coaches dont get paid that why should a college or nfl coach if we could all play sports or act or sing then no one would be poor but you dont see the rich giving out a couple grand to each working class surving paycheck to paycheck person do you no they would rather advertise for donate to the africa aids foundation i do so wont you help and im not saying i dont care about world issues like that but come on it is just as bad over here with somethings so i will get off my soap box just giving another thought to your rant
Reply:Unfortunately not every one looks at it like your or I do and sees it that way. It is a total shame to bring so many children into the world when you are unable to provide for them, and the children suffer because of it.
I doubt that the people in this world will ever change. That they will suddenly say to them selves, gee honey I think we should stop at one child since were only just scrapping by as it is.
That would require them to use birth control, some people just don't believe in doing that. I saw a family on TV that had like 17 children and they were all their own children. They plan on having as many children as they can, so that mean more children are going to come for them.
I'm sorry but, Are you kidding me? Is she waiting for her uterus to fall out or what? I know that they are taking care of their own children but, are each of these children getting the individual attention that each child should get? I really doubt that very much.
These children are good kids don't get me wrong, but the parents had to have a bigger house and they had their own children helping to build the house that they fianally moved into. What kind of a childhood is that? They are home schooled and they do not get together with other children in their community. I wonder how these children will survive in a world where they don't even know any thing about it, it's like they are living in a bubble. Pretty scary to say the least!!
Reply:you do make a good point for the 5 baby-dady situation,but you are placing too much on the money. Money happens, some have it, some don't. If everybody in your family line always waited to have cash, you wouldn't be here. That can be said for everybody on the planet. Life should be the focus. presence in the child's life is far more important. I have 3 children, they all live with me and my wife. Everything I have is thiers. we are covered by my employer's insurance, they have food, and clothing(mostly donated clothing), and the bills are just barly paid. And I have no money for anything else.I have no fancy stuff, Just what i need to work. anybody can do what I do, but most just don't want to sacrifice like this. That is the real problem, parential selfishness, not a lack of cash. I have no money, and my children are taken care of.
Reply:I compleatly agree with you. If you are not financially stable or have a stable relationship, you should not be having children.
People that use their religion as an excuse for all the children they have (for example, their religiong doesn't let them use ANY form of birth control) Should jsut stop having sex.
Reply:I agree with shamus_jack..There is more to it than money
Reply:I totally agree. It pisses me off that working people have to pay for everything their child needs, yet an unwed woman with 6 children gets everything handed to them.
Electric Scooter
Is anyone interested in100 Ways to Save or Make $100 Bucks?Then read on!?
1. Set up an apple cider stand on a crisp fall day.
2. Start a gift-wrapping service at the holidays.
3. Sell items from the attic using an on-line auction service.
4. Wear your winter coat one more season--you've always loved it, anyway!
5. Set up an automatic paycheck withdrawal for $2 per week.
6. Hold a garage sale.
7. Barter with neighbors or friends for needed household services.
8. Babysit for neighbors.
9. Mow lawns.
10. Post a flyer at the grocery store offering to help people move.
11. Start a spring cleaning service.
12.Walk dogs.
13. Offer seamstress and tailoring services.
14. Sew instead of buying clothes or home accessories.
15. Provide a taxi service for elderly neighbors.
16. Bike to work.
17. Car pool.
18. Use public transportation.
19. Park in the less expensive lots and enjoy the exercise you get from walking!
20. Conserve electricity at home and estimate monthly savings.
21. Find a student (kindergarten through college) who needs a tutor.
22. Cut out candy and snacks; donate what you save on these purchases and dental bills!
23. Take outgrown kids' clothes to a consignment shop.
24. Take your duds from the '70s or '80s to a vintage shop-everything old is new again!
25. Camp instead of staying in hotels on vacation.
26. Give up cable television for a few months--or forever!
27. Pet sit for neighbors who are traveling.
28. Make Saturday "Homemade Pasta Night" instead of dining out.
29. Borrow the latest best-sellers from the library instead of buying them.
30. Give up soft drinks for a whole summer.
31. Take a Thermos of fresh-brewed coffee to work instead of stopping for gourmet brew.
32. For your birthday, ask friends and family to make a gift to Mennonite Board of Missions, Commission on Overseas Mission, Commision on Home Ministries or Ministries Commission, Mennonite Church Canada in your name.
33. Give up your gym membership for the summer and exercise in the fresh air and sunshine.
34. Use coupons when shopping, and donate the savings.
35. Shop at yard sales and thrift stores--you never know when you'll find a hidden treasure.
36. For large household purchases, look for bargains on-line.
37. Pay off credit card debt so no interest collects.
38. Don't let water run while brushing teeth and turn out lights when you leave a room.
39. Offer your services as an office temp or substitute teacher.
40. Design Web sites for local families and businesses.
41. Buy cost-cutter brands for staples and household supplies.
42. Email friends and family instead of calling.
43. Make your own gift cards for holidays and birthdays.
44. Wear more "hand-me-downs" instead of buying new clothes.
45. Buy clothes that mix-and-match for each season.
46. Start flowers from seeds instead of buying seedlings.
47. Put on a family or neighborhood talent show and charge admission.
48. Use vinegar and water for a general household cleaning solution and save on expensive products.
49. Collect cans.
50. Study your health insurance policy and discover ways to avoid health care costs.
51. Plant a larger garden and sell vegetables at a roadside stand.
52. Instead of taking friends or clients out to dinner, send a donation in their name.
53. Donate your holiday club account and give homemade gifts this year.
54. Instead of buying a new CD every week, trade with your friends.
55. Scale back your vacation this year, or choose a service project instead.
56. Wait another six months for any major household purchase.
57. Postpone an upgrade to a software application you use.
58. Make a choice: Chocolate or coffee. Movies or eating out. Experience the one you choose more fully and donate your savings.
59. Buy a live plant instead of fresh flowers to decorate your table.
60. Love your looks--give up hair color, permanents, and other things that detract from your natural beauty.
61. Learn calligraphy and make money addressing invitations and lettering announcements.
62. For special family nights, plan on a video and pizza at home instead of dinner and a movie out.
63. Take the kids to the grocery store with you instead of hiring a babysitter.
64. Restrict your use of the cellular phone to emergencies only.
65. Choose eyeglasses with a sun clip instead of buying prescription sunglasses.
66. Wait for summer clothes to go on sale.
67. Be creative with leftovers--use them for work lunches.
68. Find loose change and save it in a coffee can for a year.
69. Bathe the dog yourself and save the groomer's costs.
70. Do your own house painting this spring instead of hiring a professional.
71. Play tennis on the public courts and save fees.
72. Give up golf for a few weekends and hike in a state park instead.
73. Rake lawns in your neighborhood in the fall.
74. Donate your expense checks from work-related travel.
75. Hold a bake sale.
76. Have friends over for parlor games instead of going out to the theater or a concert.
77. Shovel snow for money.
78. Organize a neighborhood car wash.
79. Sell lemonade on a hot summer day.
80. Take used sporting equipment to resale shops.
81. Buy a frozen pizza and cook it instead of ordering one from a pizza place.
82. Assign a dollar amount to each book or page a family member reads, then donate family earnings.
83. When you order fast food, don't supersize it! Ask for water instead of a soft drink.
84. Get rid of your lawn service and donate savings.
85. Start a babysitting coop with people from your church or neighborhood, and donate the money you save on sitters.
86. Dust off that bread machine and treat yourself to homebaked bread for pennies.
87. Offer a matching gift to family members who contribute to Mennonite Board of Missions, Commission on Overseas Missions, Commission on Home Ministries or Ministries Commission, Mennonite Church Canada.
88. Check to see if your public health department offers low-cost vaccines.
89. Plan several vegetarian meals each week.
90. Sell your famous preserves or fruitcake to friends looking for holiday gifts.
91. Buy next year's holiday supplies at day-after sales.
92. Learn how to change the oil in your car.
93. Skip purchasing season football tickets and have friends over to watch the game on TV.
94. Get rid of phone service add-ons--call waiting can wait!
95. Set the thermostat at 65 and snuggle under a blanket.
96. Only go to matinee showings of movies.
97. Choose the cheap seats for concerts and sporting events.
98. Start a resume or word-processing service.
99. Find a housemate.
100. Organize a cycling or running event with people donating a specific amount per mile covered.
Is anyone interested in100 Ways to Save or Make $100 Bucks?Then read on!?
Well, I thought this was gonna be a joke, but I like it better this way :).
Reply:im gonna try that hot apple cider thing!
2. Start a gift-wrapping service at the holidays.
3. Sell items from the attic using an on-line auction service.
4. Wear your winter coat one more season--you've always loved it, anyway!
5. Set up an automatic paycheck withdrawal for $2 per week.
6. Hold a garage sale.
7. Barter with neighbors or friends for needed household services.
8. Babysit for neighbors.
9. Mow lawns.
10. Post a flyer at the grocery store offering to help people move.
11. Start a spring cleaning service.
12.Walk dogs.
13. Offer seamstress and tailoring services.
14. Sew instead of buying clothes or home accessories.
15. Provide a taxi service for elderly neighbors.
16. Bike to work.
17. Car pool.
18. Use public transportation.
19. Park in the less expensive lots and enjoy the exercise you get from walking!
20. Conserve electricity at home and estimate monthly savings.
21. Find a student (kindergarten through college) who needs a tutor.
22. Cut out candy and snacks; donate what you save on these purchases and dental bills!
23. Take outgrown kids' clothes to a consignment shop.
24. Take your duds from the '70s or '80s to a vintage shop-everything old is new again!
25. Camp instead of staying in hotels on vacation.
26. Give up cable television for a few months--or forever!
27. Pet sit for neighbors who are traveling.
28. Make Saturday "Homemade Pasta Night" instead of dining out.
29. Borrow the latest best-sellers from the library instead of buying them.
30. Give up soft drinks for a whole summer.
31. Take a Thermos of fresh-brewed coffee to work instead of stopping for gourmet brew.
32. For your birthday, ask friends and family to make a gift to Mennonite Board of Missions, Commission on Overseas Mission, Commision on Home Ministries or Ministries Commission, Mennonite Church Canada in your name.
33. Give up your gym membership for the summer and exercise in the fresh air and sunshine.
34. Use coupons when shopping, and donate the savings.
35. Shop at yard sales and thrift stores--you never know when you'll find a hidden treasure.
36. For large household purchases, look for bargains on-line.
37. Pay off credit card debt so no interest collects.
38. Don't let water run while brushing teeth and turn out lights when you leave a room.
39. Offer your services as an office temp or substitute teacher.
40. Design Web sites for local families and businesses.
41. Buy cost-cutter brands for staples and household supplies.
42. Email friends and family instead of calling.
43. Make your own gift cards for holidays and birthdays.
44. Wear more "hand-me-downs" instead of buying new clothes.
45. Buy clothes that mix-and-match for each season.
46. Start flowers from seeds instead of buying seedlings.
47. Put on a family or neighborhood talent show and charge admission.
48. Use vinegar and water for a general household cleaning solution and save on expensive products.
49. Collect cans.
50. Study your health insurance policy and discover ways to avoid health care costs.
51. Plant a larger garden and sell vegetables at a roadside stand.
52. Instead of taking friends or clients out to dinner, send a donation in their name.
53. Donate your holiday club account and give homemade gifts this year.
54. Instead of buying a new CD every week, trade with your friends.
55. Scale back your vacation this year, or choose a service project instead.
56. Wait another six months for any major household purchase.
57. Postpone an upgrade to a software application you use.
58. Make a choice: Chocolate or coffee. Movies or eating out. Experience the one you choose more fully and donate your savings.
59. Buy a live plant instead of fresh flowers to decorate your table.
60. Love your looks--give up hair color, permanents, and other things that detract from your natural beauty.
61. Learn calligraphy and make money addressing invitations and lettering announcements.
62. For special family nights, plan on a video and pizza at home instead of dinner and a movie out.
63. Take the kids to the grocery store with you instead of hiring a babysitter.
64. Restrict your use of the cellular phone to emergencies only.
65. Choose eyeglasses with a sun clip instead of buying prescription sunglasses.
66. Wait for summer clothes to go on sale.
67. Be creative with leftovers--use them for work lunches.
68. Find loose change and save it in a coffee can for a year.
69. Bathe the dog yourself and save the groomer's costs.
70. Do your own house painting this spring instead of hiring a professional.
71. Play tennis on the public courts and save fees.
72. Give up golf for a few weekends and hike in a state park instead.
73. Rake lawns in your neighborhood in the fall.
74. Donate your expense checks from work-related travel.
75. Hold a bake sale.
76. Have friends over for parlor games instead of going out to the theater or a concert.
77. Shovel snow for money.
78. Organize a neighborhood car wash.
79. Sell lemonade on a hot summer day.
80. Take used sporting equipment to resale shops.
81. Buy a frozen pizza and cook it instead of ordering one from a pizza place.
82. Assign a dollar amount to each book or page a family member reads, then donate family earnings.
83. When you order fast food, don't supersize it! Ask for water instead of a soft drink.
84. Get rid of your lawn service and donate savings.
85. Start a babysitting coop with people from your church or neighborhood, and donate the money you save on sitters.
86. Dust off that bread machine and treat yourself to homebaked bread for pennies.
87. Offer a matching gift to family members who contribute to Mennonite Board of Missions, Commission on Overseas Missions, Commission on Home Ministries or Ministries Commission, Mennonite Church Canada.
88. Check to see if your public health department offers low-cost vaccines.
89. Plan several vegetarian meals each week.
90. Sell your famous preserves or fruitcake to friends looking for holiday gifts.
91. Buy next year's holiday supplies at day-after sales.
92. Learn how to change the oil in your car.
93. Skip purchasing season football tickets and have friends over to watch the game on TV.
94. Get rid of phone service add-ons--call waiting can wait!
95. Set the thermostat at 65 and snuggle under a blanket.
96. Only go to matinee showings of movies.
97. Choose the cheap seats for concerts and sporting events.
98. Start a resume or word-processing service.
99. Find a housemate.
100. Organize a cycling or running event with people donating a specific amount per mile covered.
Is anyone interested in100 Ways to Save or Make $100 Bucks?Then read on!?
Well, I thought this was gonna be a joke, but I like it better this way :).
Reply:im gonna try that hot apple cider thing!
Will the liberal media report this success in Iraq?
The struggle to form a unity government in Iraq continues, but signs of hope are emerging. One of the sticking points continues to be Prime Minister Ibrahim Jaafari, who has so far refused to resign; however, on Sunday the Iraqi Shia Alliance reported it was close to a deal to replace him.
For a little perspective, travel back to the States, to the U.S. Senate and watch the immigration debate in the Senate. We've been doing democracy for several centuries now, and we can't get 100 politicians to agree on one issue. Considering we're the pros, we could cut the Iraqis a little slack as they continue to get the feel of this democracy-project thing.
There continues to be plenty of good news to be found in Iraq. The Iraqi army continues to take over responsibility for more battle space, al Qaeda continues to take a beating, and rebuilding of the country is progressing. Moreover, the Iraqi economy is improving, and has doubled in the last three years.
News for Pessimistic Generals
The media has given an enormous amount of publicity to former generals who are calling for Rumsfeld to resign, and all but ignore those who remain optimistic about our efforts in Iraq. Colonel William Grimsley commanded the brigade that first took control of Baghdad Airport. Three years on he remains optimistic about the country's future:
Grimsley, commander of the 3rd Infantry Division's 1st Combat Brigade Team during the opening days of Operation Iraqi Freedom, said history — not current events — will tell the true story of Iraq's metamorphosis.
And that story will show how Iraq ultimately emerged from almost 40 years of a regime that ignored the people's needs and undermined its potential, Grimsley, now a military assistant to Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, said during an interview with American Forces Press Service and the Pentagon Channel.
Major Kevin Carter just returned from Iraq, and shares this assessment:
Charter believes not enough attention is being paid to the progress being made by Iraqis in taking control of their country. He said the people of Iraq are grateful Saddam Hussein has been overthrown.
"I was told by an Iraqi that only two things could get rid of Saddam, the United States or Allah. I will never forget that," Charter said. "An Iraqi officer told me that if we just up and left the country would implode. They are so grateful for us being there and toppling Saddam. Even the Sunnis, who benefited under Saddam, thanked us."
Before you think I'm just parroting the Pentagon line by quoting only officers, a Marine serving with an Iraqi unit had this to say:
"Everybody hears about all the car bombs in Baghdad and how many people got shot. Those things are reality — I don't want to downplay them. But there's a lot of good things happening," he said.
Despite being the main targets of terrorists and ex-Baathists, Iraqi soldiers remain well motivated:
According to the commanding officer of the local Iraqi-army unit here, the soldiers' motivation to fight insurgents is steady despite the loss of two of their own comrades. During a memorial service for a fallen soldier, the Iraqi commander of 2nd Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 7th Iraqi Army Division, assured his soldiers they were performing well and encouraged them to continue to listen and learn from the Marines.
"I want the soldiers to continue to do the job they are doing," said the commanding officer, who wishes to remain anonymous. "We need the Marines' support and they are very professional when it comes to training my soldiers."
A tip led U.S. troops to a house where forged documents were made:
The two suspected forgers were found at a house where Soldiers seized $2,050 in U.S. currency, more than 500,000 Iraqi Dinars, 125 various forms of identification, fake stamps for the IDs and an AK-47.
Another tip led U.S. troops to a weapons cache at a terrorist training facility:
Found at the site were 19 155 mm artillery rounds and 21 mortar rounds of various calibers.
The site may have been a training site of insurgents. The cache was transported to a secured location for controlled detonation.
320 Iraqis from Anbar Province arrived in Jordan to received training as police officers.
The Iraqi army continues to take over more battle space:
The 3rd Battalion, 1st Brigade, 4th Iraqi Army Division is assuming control of an area of responsibility that encompasses Balad, Al Duluyah and Yethrib, as well as the smaller villages surrounding these cities.
In addition to taking over battle space, Iraqis continue to take the lead in more security operations. Operation Cobra Strike was lead by soldiers of the 8th Iraqi Army Division. The operation was planned, and conducted by Iraqis, with U.S. soldiers in support.
Iraqi soldiers discovered four weapons caches during an operation in southern Baghdad:
In total, the four weapons caches consisted of seven RPG rounds, three machine guns, 28 70 mm mortar rounds, 38 60mm mortar rounds, landmines, a large bag of homemade explosives, a sniper rifle, grenades, 13 pre-made roadside-bombs, ten rockets, 403 linked rounds of small arms ammunition, three bags of linked ammunition and 5,000 rounds of sniper-rifle rounds.
139 Iraqi soldiers recently graduated from commando school, and are ready to fight:
"The Iraqi people are tired of the terrorists, extremists and instability and this unit fights that ... I am very proud that I am part of this special unit that will help stabilize this country," he said. "The terrorists have had their time. This is our time now."
39 of 45 planned border forts along the Iran-Iraq border are complete. The border posts are manned by Iraqis.
U.S. troops discovered several significant weapons caches on an island in the Euphrates River:
On April 5, Soldiers from 1st Battalion, 67th Armor Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, discovered 34 fused 82 mm rounds, five fused 120 mm rounds, 600 82 mm mortar rounds, 23 fused rocket-propelled grenades, five hand grenades, 28 55-gallon drums of TNT, nine 55-gallon sacks of nitrate, two bundles of detonation chord, a penetrator and 5,000 AK-47 rounds.
The next day, Soldiers gathered 1,500 meters of command wire, a mortar sight, a receiver, 54 82mm rounds and a 107mm rocket.
On April 7, MND-B Soldiers discovered the following items on the island: 1,450 18 mm anti-aircraft rounds, 27 125 mm aerial bombs, 30 anti-tank grenades, seven 60 mm mortars, five 82 mm mortars, 25 RPG rounds, 96 sticks of dynamite, 600 mortar primers, 156 hand grenades, three cylindrical containers, a RPG launcher, a rocket (caliber unknown), 37 boosters and a small mortar.
In Mosul, U.S. soldiers discovered a significant amount of materials used to make IEDs.
In Tikrit, a terrorist planting an IED was captured.
In Yusifiyah, several terrorist were killed or captured after their safe house was attacked:
During the assault, five terrorists, three of them wearing suicide vests, were killed; five others, one of whom was wounded, were detained. Two of the suicide bombers were killed before either could detonate his vest, and the third detonated his body bomb killing only himself and injuring no one else.
I mentioned Operation Cowpens last week. The operation ended Friday, and the tally of captured munitions is impressive
US forces killed five suspected insurgents and detained five others in a raid on a house southwest of Baghdad early Sunday in a hunt for an alleged Al Qaeda operative, the US military reported, according to AFP.
In another raid, a senior al Qaeda operative was killed. Abu Umar was the terror groups "ambassador," and was charged with forming relationships with other groups in Iraq. Umar was an associate of Osama bin Laden. More than 115 top al Qaeda operatives have been killed or captured in Iraq over the last few months.
Al Qaeda in Iraq continues to use unwilling people to carry out attacks. One attacker was identified by the fingerprints found on his hand, which was hand cuffed to the steering wheel of a car used as a bomb. It was the only part of him found.
U.S. military vehicles in Iraq will be getting a new anti-RPG system called Trophy from the Israelis [This item has been corrected since posting. — Ed.]:
The Trophy, unveiled by the IDF a year ago, combines two main systems: a radar built by Israel Aircraft Industries Ltd., detects threats; and a Rafael-designed system destroys incoming threats in flight. Rafael claims that the Trophy can protect armored fighting vehicles against all types of anti-tank rockets and missiles.
The two conceptual innovations incorporated into the Trophy are 360-degree protection of the tank or APC, which eliminates the need for adding armor plating, which can double a tank’s weight, restricting its mobility and maneuverability; and to provide protection from new threats from the side and top in low-intensity combat, compared with frontal threats of the past.
The State Department issued a report on Iraq's economy. Iraq's economy as nearly doubled in the last three years. GDP rose by 2.6% last year, and is expected to rise by more than ten percent in 2006.
A carpentry workshop funded by USAID is helping Iraqis earn a living:
The workshop focuses on fostering leadership, independence and financial stability among 18- to 24-year-olds. Profits from sale of furniture and doors made in the carpentry shop are reinvested in the youth center to purchase sports equipment, Internet access and secondary school supplies.
Three new power substations are now online in Najaf. At a cost of $4.8 million per substation, each should provide 25,000 households with electricity.
A ceremony in Baghdad marked the opening of a renovated youth center:
The Youth Center offers programs and training in weightlifting, boxing, wrestling, judo and soccer. During the tour, the guests viewed young Iraqi boxers sparring; wrestlers practicing takedowns; soccer players kicking goals; and weightlifters pumping iron.
The project was financed with funds from the 10th Mountain Division.
Everyday Americans are also helping out in Iraq. Frank Casa of Fairport, New York raised $25,000 to send wheel chairs to disabled residents of Hilla:
Casa has raised more than $25,000 to send desperately needed wheelchairs to Hilla, a city south of Baghdad, ravaged by the blasts of suicide attacks and car bombs. Later this year, he'll travel to Iraq to help distribute the wheelchairs.
"There are many, many civilians that are caught in desperate straits, that were caught up in this war, and they're strictly victims," Casa said. "Not to have mobility is like throwing fuel on the fire."
The latest weekly reconstruction update is available here. Highlights include:
* A water system is under construction in Fallujah. When completed it will provide 200,000 residents with clean water.
* A firing range is under construction at the police academy in Hillah.
* Renovations are complete on the police station in Kadhimiya.
* The rehabilitation of a sewer pump station is complete in Mansour.
* In Baghdad, construction is complete on three solid waste transfer stations.
* A project to provide 10,000 residents in Basrah is complete.
* Construction of two power stations in Erbil Province is complete.
* Reconstruction is complete on two fire stations in Karbala.
* 13 of 15 school projects are complete in Karbala.
* Construction of new classrooms is now complete in Mosul.
U.S. and Iraqi troops conducted a dental clinic in Amu Shabi:
A smile can light up one's face... and today, more than 200 Iraqis had a reason to smile.
Iraqi-army troops, along with U.S. Special Forces medics, Civil Affairs and 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division Soldiers, traveled to a school in Amu Shabi, Iraq, to provide a Dental Assessment and Care Clinic for local citizens.
A Scottish company has plans to build the first water park in Iraq. This story is pertinent because of the what the company's sales managers said:
International sales manager Jim Stuart said yesterday: "I am delighted to be involved in this project and it shows that rebuilding in Iraq really is happening."
Sadly, the newly elected Miss Iraq won't be attending the opening.
Norway's DNO will become the first Western company since the invasion to produce oil in Iraq next year. The company has discovered five oil reservoirs in northern Iraq.
Iraqi Air is purchasing two new planes from Airbus.
Iraq is spending $25 million to purchase two new oil tankers.
OUR HEROES
Petty Officer 2nd Class Juan M. Rubio will be awarded the Silver Star later this month for actions in Iraq:
On Jan. 1, 2005, Rubio's platoon was ambushed on the Euphrates River. The Marines left their boats and pursued the attackers, only to have an explosive set off nearby.
Rubio and three Marines were wounded. Despite having shrapnel wounds in his legs and arms, Rubio belly-crawled to the injured Marines and treated their injuries. He then dragged each of them across open terrain, under fire, to safety behind a wall.
He showed the uninjured Marines how to care for the wounded troops and then began directing covering fire while he helped take the wounded back to the boats.
"Your actions saved lives and you have set an example for future corpsmen and Marines to emulate," wrote Maj. Gen. R.F. Natonski, who wrote a letter endorsing the medal. "Your service is coveted by each and every Marine in the 1st Marine Division."
One Marine died that day, Lance Cpl. Brian Parrello. Rubio believes Parrello saved his life.
"He took a big chunk of artillery," Rubio said. "He absorbed 90 percent of the explosion for me. I owe my life to him."
Petty Officer 2nd Class Justin Jewett was awarded the Bronze Star for action in Iraq:
Jewett ran through a hail of gunfire and dragged the injured teammate 20 feet to the protection of a large vehicle, the citation says. He then administered first aid.
Under continuous attack, he supervised the evacuation of his wounded teammate. The Navy said Jewett's "courageous actions" saved his teammate's life.
Lance Corporal Carlos Gomez-Perez was awarded the Silver Star this week for his actions in Fallujah:
In the late morning, the platoon came under fire from machine guns and rocket-propelled grenades coming from three directions, according to a citation signed by Secretary of the Navy Donald Winter.
Gomez-Perez first made sure that several injured comrades received medical attention, then moved another downed Marine out of the line of fire, suffering wounds to his shoulder and face in the process.
"Despite his injuries, he again exposed himself to enemy fire and continued to attack the enemy with grenades and by firing his rifle with his uninjured arm," the citation states. "By his bold leadership, wise judgment and complete dedication to duty, Lance Corporal Gomez-Perez reflected great credit upon himself and upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service."
Will the liberal media report this success in Iraq?
Liberals run the media. Liberals are against republicans in each and every manner. Hence the war. Look at Vietnam. Nothing good was reported there and look what happened. Same thing is going on now.
Reply:You already have.
Reply:Your lucky we don't show all of the limbs that have been blown off or the kids that bleed out before they get medical attention. The media has been more than fair . . .
Reply:========================
do you really expect that people are going to read this entire essay? Your question was interesting. Then I saw how much there was to read and I lost interest.
ah, what was the question again?
Reply:I could maybe agree with you if the Iraqi people were the ones who had come up with the democracy idea instead of President Bush.
Reply:I'm going to need a little more detail please...
Reply:Don't go thinking the media is liberal, okay.
Spammer.
.
Reply:Why doesn't the media talk about the positive effects of global warming?
Reply:You do realize they just bombed Parliament in the green zone don't you?
Reply:The real heroes are the soldiers who ARE DEAD!
You did a great job reporting all the positive aspects... Now be fair and tell us the negative side to this civil war that the media has reported... or have been allowed to report.
Would you? I'm serious... I want to know.
Thanks.
Reply:No liberals are pessimists when it comes to Iraq and overly optimistic when it comes to everything else. They cant handle that for good to come alot of bad will come first. PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE . But guess what more will die if we did nothing and we would be more vulnerable than ever if we pulled out now. Even though thats what they want because their overly sensitive minds cant take it. Alot of good and signs of progress come from Iraq but nobody ever says anything because of the mainly liberal media.
Reply:nice cut and paste
uh... about half of that seems to be uncited rumor...
while the other half is from the army with no attempt to look at the other side of the story...
and I have seen quite a bit of this reported from time to time... to one degree or another... but it seems that much of this happens EVERY DAY... and HAS FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS... if something happens every day...it's not news...
BUT HERE'S THE CATCH... little seems to have changed? the army takes one step forward... and then one step back as the terrorists bomb what they just fixed, import more weapons and insurgents from ungaurded borders and keep on bombing civilians...
Reply:Hopefully some day it will be too noticeable a success for them to ignore. Of course, that fact won't be considered big news.
Reply:Liberals would rather eat pig excrement than post anything that might make Bush look good.
acne scar
For a little perspective, travel back to the States, to the U.S. Senate and watch the immigration debate in the Senate. We've been doing democracy for several centuries now, and we can't get 100 politicians to agree on one issue. Considering we're the pros, we could cut the Iraqis a little slack as they continue to get the feel of this democracy-project thing.
There continues to be plenty of good news to be found in Iraq. The Iraqi army continues to take over responsibility for more battle space, al Qaeda continues to take a beating, and rebuilding of the country is progressing. Moreover, the Iraqi economy is improving, and has doubled in the last three years.
News for Pessimistic Generals
The media has given an enormous amount of publicity to former generals who are calling for Rumsfeld to resign, and all but ignore those who remain optimistic about our efforts in Iraq. Colonel William Grimsley commanded the brigade that first took control of Baghdad Airport. Three years on he remains optimistic about the country's future:
Grimsley, commander of the 3rd Infantry Division's 1st Combat Brigade Team during the opening days of Operation Iraqi Freedom, said history — not current events — will tell the true story of Iraq's metamorphosis.
And that story will show how Iraq ultimately emerged from almost 40 years of a regime that ignored the people's needs and undermined its potential, Grimsley, now a military assistant to Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, said during an interview with American Forces Press Service and the Pentagon Channel.
Major Kevin Carter just returned from Iraq, and shares this assessment:
Charter believes not enough attention is being paid to the progress being made by Iraqis in taking control of their country. He said the people of Iraq are grateful Saddam Hussein has been overthrown.
"I was told by an Iraqi that only two things could get rid of Saddam, the United States or Allah. I will never forget that," Charter said. "An Iraqi officer told me that if we just up and left the country would implode. They are so grateful for us being there and toppling Saddam. Even the Sunnis, who benefited under Saddam, thanked us."
Before you think I'm just parroting the Pentagon line by quoting only officers, a Marine serving with an Iraqi unit had this to say:
"Everybody hears about all the car bombs in Baghdad and how many people got shot. Those things are reality — I don't want to downplay them. But there's a lot of good things happening," he said.
Despite being the main targets of terrorists and ex-Baathists, Iraqi soldiers remain well motivated:
According to the commanding officer of the local Iraqi-army unit here, the soldiers' motivation to fight insurgents is steady despite the loss of two of their own comrades. During a memorial service for a fallen soldier, the Iraqi commander of 2nd Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 7th Iraqi Army Division, assured his soldiers they were performing well and encouraged them to continue to listen and learn from the Marines.
"I want the soldiers to continue to do the job they are doing," said the commanding officer, who wishes to remain anonymous. "We need the Marines' support and they are very professional when it comes to training my soldiers."
A tip led U.S. troops to a house where forged documents were made:
The two suspected forgers were found at a house where Soldiers seized $2,050 in U.S. currency, more than 500,000 Iraqi Dinars, 125 various forms of identification, fake stamps for the IDs and an AK-47.
Another tip led U.S. troops to a weapons cache at a terrorist training facility:
Found at the site were 19 155 mm artillery rounds and 21 mortar rounds of various calibers.
The site may have been a training site of insurgents. The cache was transported to a secured location for controlled detonation.
320 Iraqis from Anbar Province arrived in Jordan to received training as police officers.
The Iraqi army continues to take over more battle space:
The 3rd Battalion, 1st Brigade, 4th Iraqi Army Division is assuming control of an area of responsibility that encompasses Balad, Al Duluyah and Yethrib, as well as the smaller villages surrounding these cities.
In addition to taking over battle space, Iraqis continue to take the lead in more security operations. Operation Cobra Strike was lead by soldiers of the 8th Iraqi Army Division. The operation was planned, and conducted by Iraqis, with U.S. soldiers in support.
Iraqi soldiers discovered four weapons caches during an operation in southern Baghdad:
In total, the four weapons caches consisted of seven RPG rounds, three machine guns, 28 70 mm mortar rounds, 38 60mm mortar rounds, landmines, a large bag of homemade explosives, a sniper rifle, grenades, 13 pre-made roadside-bombs, ten rockets, 403 linked rounds of small arms ammunition, three bags of linked ammunition and 5,000 rounds of sniper-rifle rounds.
139 Iraqi soldiers recently graduated from commando school, and are ready to fight:
"The Iraqi people are tired of the terrorists, extremists and instability and this unit fights that ... I am very proud that I am part of this special unit that will help stabilize this country," he said. "The terrorists have had their time. This is our time now."
39 of 45 planned border forts along the Iran-Iraq border are complete. The border posts are manned by Iraqis.
U.S. troops discovered several significant weapons caches on an island in the Euphrates River:
On April 5, Soldiers from 1st Battalion, 67th Armor Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, discovered 34 fused 82 mm rounds, five fused 120 mm rounds, 600 82 mm mortar rounds, 23 fused rocket-propelled grenades, five hand grenades, 28 55-gallon drums of TNT, nine 55-gallon sacks of nitrate, two bundles of detonation chord, a penetrator and 5,000 AK-47 rounds.
The next day, Soldiers gathered 1,500 meters of command wire, a mortar sight, a receiver, 54 82mm rounds and a 107mm rocket.
On April 7, MND-B Soldiers discovered the following items on the island: 1,450 18 mm anti-aircraft rounds, 27 125 mm aerial bombs, 30 anti-tank grenades, seven 60 mm mortars, five 82 mm mortars, 25 RPG rounds, 96 sticks of dynamite, 600 mortar primers, 156 hand grenades, three cylindrical containers, a RPG launcher, a rocket (caliber unknown), 37 boosters and a small mortar.
In Mosul, U.S. soldiers discovered a significant amount of materials used to make IEDs.
In Tikrit, a terrorist planting an IED was captured.
In Yusifiyah, several terrorist were killed or captured after their safe house was attacked:
During the assault, five terrorists, three of them wearing suicide vests, were killed; five others, one of whom was wounded, were detained. Two of the suicide bombers were killed before either could detonate his vest, and the third detonated his body bomb killing only himself and injuring no one else.
I mentioned Operation Cowpens last week. The operation ended Friday, and the tally of captured munitions is impressive
US forces killed five suspected insurgents and detained five others in a raid on a house southwest of Baghdad early Sunday in a hunt for an alleged Al Qaeda operative, the US military reported, according to AFP.
In another raid, a senior al Qaeda operative was killed. Abu Umar was the terror groups "ambassador," and was charged with forming relationships with other groups in Iraq. Umar was an associate of Osama bin Laden. More than 115 top al Qaeda operatives have been killed or captured in Iraq over the last few months.
Al Qaeda in Iraq continues to use unwilling people to carry out attacks. One attacker was identified by the fingerprints found on his hand, which was hand cuffed to the steering wheel of a car used as a bomb. It was the only part of him found.
U.S. military vehicles in Iraq will be getting a new anti-RPG system called Trophy from the Israelis [This item has been corrected since posting. — Ed.]:
The Trophy, unveiled by the IDF a year ago, combines two main systems: a radar built by Israel Aircraft Industries Ltd., detects threats; and a Rafael-designed system destroys incoming threats in flight. Rafael claims that the Trophy can protect armored fighting vehicles against all types of anti-tank rockets and missiles.
The two conceptual innovations incorporated into the Trophy are 360-degree protection of the tank or APC, which eliminates the need for adding armor plating, which can double a tank’s weight, restricting its mobility and maneuverability; and to provide protection from new threats from the side and top in low-intensity combat, compared with frontal threats of the past.
The State Department issued a report on Iraq's economy. Iraq's economy as nearly doubled in the last three years. GDP rose by 2.6% last year, and is expected to rise by more than ten percent in 2006.
A carpentry workshop funded by USAID is helping Iraqis earn a living:
The workshop focuses on fostering leadership, independence and financial stability among 18- to 24-year-olds. Profits from sale of furniture and doors made in the carpentry shop are reinvested in the youth center to purchase sports equipment, Internet access and secondary school supplies.
Three new power substations are now online in Najaf. At a cost of $4.8 million per substation, each should provide 25,000 households with electricity.
A ceremony in Baghdad marked the opening of a renovated youth center:
The Youth Center offers programs and training in weightlifting, boxing, wrestling, judo and soccer. During the tour, the guests viewed young Iraqi boxers sparring; wrestlers practicing takedowns; soccer players kicking goals; and weightlifters pumping iron.
The project was financed with funds from the 10th Mountain Division.
Everyday Americans are also helping out in Iraq. Frank Casa of Fairport, New York raised $25,000 to send wheel chairs to disabled residents of Hilla:
Casa has raised more than $25,000 to send desperately needed wheelchairs to Hilla, a city south of Baghdad, ravaged by the blasts of suicide attacks and car bombs. Later this year, he'll travel to Iraq to help distribute the wheelchairs.
"There are many, many civilians that are caught in desperate straits, that were caught up in this war, and they're strictly victims," Casa said. "Not to have mobility is like throwing fuel on the fire."
The latest weekly reconstruction update is available here. Highlights include:
* A water system is under construction in Fallujah. When completed it will provide 200,000 residents with clean water.
* A firing range is under construction at the police academy in Hillah.
* Renovations are complete on the police station in Kadhimiya.
* The rehabilitation of a sewer pump station is complete in Mansour.
* In Baghdad, construction is complete on three solid waste transfer stations.
* A project to provide 10,000 residents in Basrah is complete.
* Construction of two power stations in Erbil Province is complete.
* Reconstruction is complete on two fire stations in Karbala.
* 13 of 15 school projects are complete in Karbala.
* Construction of new classrooms is now complete in Mosul.
U.S. and Iraqi troops conducted a dental clinic in Amu Shabi:
A smile can light up one's face... and today, more than 200 Iraqis had a reason to smile.
Iraqi-army troops, along with U.S. Special Forces medics, Civil Affairs and 1st Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division Soldiers, traveled to a school in Amu Shabi, Iraq, to provide a Dental Assessment and Care Clinic for local citizens.
A Scottish company has plans to build the first water park in Iraq. This story is pertinent because of the what the company's sales managers said:
International sales manager Jim Stuart said yesterday: "I am delighted to be involved in this project and it shows that rebuilding in Iraq really is happening."
Sadly, the newly elected Miss Iraq won't be attending the opening.
Norway's DNO will become the first Western company since the invasion to produce oil in Iraq next year. The company has discovered five oil reservoirs in northern Iraq.
Iraqi Air is purchasing two new planes from Airbus.
Iraq is spending $25 million to purchase two new oil tankers.
OUR HEROES
Petty Officer 2nd Class Juan M. Rubio will be awarded the Silver Star later this month for actions in Iraq:
On Jan. 1, 2005, Rubio's platoon was ambushed on the Euphrates River. The Marines left their boats and pursued the attackers, only to have an explosive set off nearby.
Rubio and three Marines were wounded. Despite having shrapnel wounds in his legs and arms, Rubio belly-crawled to the injured Marines and treated their injuries. He then dragged each of them across open terrain, under fire, to safety behind a wall.
He showed the uninjured Marines how to care for the wounded troops and then began directing covering fire while he helped take the wounded back to the boats.
"Your actions saved lives and you have set an example for future corpsmen and Marines to emulate," wrote Maj. Gen. R.F. Natonski, who wrote a letter endorsing the medal. "Your service is coveted by each and every Marine in the 1st Marine Division."
One Marine died that day, Lance Cpl. Brian Parrello. Rubio believes Parrello saved his life.
"He took a big chunk of artillery," Rubio said. "He absorbed 90 percent of the explosion for me. I owe my life to him."
Petty Officer 2nd Class Justin Jewett was awarded the Bronze Star for action in Iraq:
Jewett ran through a hail of gunfire and dragged the injured teammate 20 feet to the protection of a large vehicle, the citation says. He then administered first aid.
Under continuous attack, he supervised the evacuation of his wounded teammate. The Navy said Jewett's "courageous actions" saved his teammate's life.
Lance Corporal Carlos Gomez-Perez was awarded the Silver Star this week for his actions in Fallujah:
In the late morning, the platoon came under fire from machine guns and rocket-propelled grenades coming from three directions, according to a citation signed by Secretary of the Navy Donald Winter.
Gomez-Perez first made sure that several injured comrades received medical attention, then moved another downed Marine out of the line of fire, suffering wounds to his shoulder and face in the process.
"Despite his injuries, he again exposed himself to enemy fire and continued to attack the enemy with grenades and by firing his rifle with his uninjured arm," the citation states. "By his bold leadership, wise judgment and complete dedication to duty, Lance Corporal Gomez-Perez reflected great credit upon himself and upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the United States Naval Service."
Will the liberal media report this success in Iraq?
Liberals run the media. Liberals are against republicans in each and every manner. Hence the war. Look at Vietnam. Nothing good was reported there and look what happened. Same thing is going on now.
Reply:You already have.
Reply:Your lucky we don't show all of the limbs that have been blown off or the kids that bleed out before they get medical attention. The media has been more than fair . . .
Reply:========================
do you really expect that people are going to read this entire essay? Your question was interesting. Then I saw how much there was to read and I lost interest.
ah, what was the question again?
Reply:I could maybe agree with you if the Iraqi people were the ones who had come up with the democracy idea instead of President Bush.
Reply:I'm going to need a little more detail please...
Reply:Don't go thinking the media is liberal, okay.
Spammer.
.
Reply:Why doesn't the media talk about the positive effects of global warming?
Reply:You do realize they just bombed Parliament in the green zone don't you?
Reply:The real heroes are the soldiers who ARE DEAD!
You did a great job reporting all the positive aspects... Now be fair and tell us the negative side to this civil war that the media has reported... or have been allowed to report.
Would you? I'm serious... I want to know.
Thanks.
Reply:No liberals are pessimists when it comes to Iraq and overly optimistic when it comes to everything else. They cant handle that for good to come alot of bad will come first. PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE . But guess what more will die if we did nothing and we would be more vulnerable than ever if we pulled out now. Even though thats what they want because their overly sensitive minds cant take it. Alot of good and signs of progress come from Iraq but nobody ever says anything because of the mainly liberal media.
Reply:nice cut and paste
uh... about half of that seems to be uncited rumor...
while the other half is from the army with no attempt to look at the other side of the story...
and I have seen quite a bit of this reported from time to time... to one degree or another... but it seems that much of this happens EVERY DAY... and HAS FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS... if something happens every day...it's not news...
BUT HERE'S THE CATCH... little seems to have changed? the army takes one step forward... and then one step back as the terrorists bomb what they just fixed, import more weapons and insurgents from ungaurded borders and keep on bombing civilians...
Reply:Hopefully some day it will be too noticeable a success for them to ignore. Of course, that fact won't be considered big news.
Reply:Liberals would rather eat pig excrement than post anything that might make Bush look good.
acne scar
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