Do you know all the Rules for Dogs?

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


2. I do not need to stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffe table.


3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge,behind the sofa or under the bed.


4. I must shake the rain out of my fur before entering the house.


5. I will not eat the cats food , before or after they throw it up.


6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to be sick.


7. I will not throw up in the car.


8. I will not roll on dead seagulls,fish,crabs, etc.,just because I like the way they


smell


9. "Kitty box crunchies", Although they are tasty, are not food.


10. I will not eat any more kleenex or napkins and then re-deposit them in back yard after Proscessing.


11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.


12. I will not chew my human's tooth brush and not tell them about it


13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.


14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.


15. I will not bark every time I hear a doorbell ring on tv.


16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.


17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom's and dad's laps.


18 My head does not belong in the refrigerator.


19. I will not bite the officer when he reaches in for Dad's driver license and car registration.


20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.


21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage to avoid having string hanging out of my butt.


22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just getting a bath.


23. Sticking my nose in someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.


24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do. 25. I will not come inside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.


26. The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and, just because it's blue does not mean its cleaner.


27. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.


28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when companies over 29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room.


30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Do you know all the Rules for Dogs?
Love it! Lol..think it may be time to show these to my cocker spaniel! Star! :D
Reply:Ok - I like that
Reply:definately need to show this to my dog lol
Reply:That's priceless!! even people who don't own dogs will think its funny! LMAO!!!